Since the dawn of time, man has confounded woman and vice-versa. From Adam and Eve to Barack and Hillary, our genders have seen it all.
There has been conflict. How we once argued, we now subtweet. And there has been flirtation. How we once hugged, we now Clery Release.
Yet, consistent throughout the trials and tribulations of gender is our ever-burning desire to read the mind of the opposite sex. We desire telepathy like Kim Jong-il did nukes. Unfortunately, when we pursue with comparable fervor, natural selection does its job and our own psychoses remove us from the gene pool. Nobody wants to date Kim Jong-il.
Telepathy may not be learned, but it can be contracted.
Pleasure to meet you, ladies. My name is Kyle.
I’d tell you a little bit about myself, but then again none of that is important. All that matters is that I can assure you that I’ve seen, experienced, and/or worked through almost every calamity caused by or experienced by young men. Oh, and I have a fish named B****boii—you will be receiving constant updates on his survival, or lack thereof.
But, I digress. Not only am I a new columnist here at Her Campus Mizzou, but hopefully a tool (no pun intended) that can help you unlock the inner realms of the male mind. I can’t promise miracles, but I can provide clarity.
Thus, I’d love for you guys to send in your questions, scenarios, etc. and hopefully I can answer them. This column isn’t a platform from which I will refute your concerns in defense of men, but one from which I hope we can find a happy medium. Simply put, I will call you out when you’re at fault and I will call Person X out when he/she is.
We are young and brash and bold and passionate and often mistaken, but these things are for the better. I won’t always be right and neither will you. Still, we can take solace in the fact that our lives make far more sense than a Pitbull song.
Stay cool, friends. I hope to hear from you soon.
Do you think you or a friend could use Kyle’s advice? Have a question you’ve been dying to anonymously ask for a guy’s opinion? Use our story submission box below to send us your plight and we will send it on to Kyle! You may enter your name as “Anonymous” below – you just need an email to submit! You can also send your questions to us directly at hercampusmizzou.com (no worries – your name won’t be published… that would ruin all the fun!).