When you were given an earlier curfew than all of your high school friends, you probably thought to yourself, “I can’t wait until I go to college!” But before you knew it, the time came to say goodbye to the life you knew and to say hello to 30,000 potential new friends at Mizzou.
No matter how excited you were for your fresh start, there are some things that don’t magically disappear when we cross the columns during Tiger Walk. Pre-existing mental health conditions, such as depression, are among the things we wish we could move past.
So, you might be wondering, “If my condition isn’t going anywhere, is it something I should tell people about?” After all, you don’t want people to find out and avoid your glance in the community bathroom because there’s “something wrong with you.”
The good news is you aren’t alone, and there are many support systems available for you. David Wallace, Director of the MU Counseling Center and a licensed psychologist, says that initially, the most important thing a person with a history of mental illness should do is make professional contacts. Establishing a relationship with the staff in your residence hall is another way to gain support.
“It’s really important to establish contacts here, especially if [students] are from some distance away,” Wallace says. “It is helpful for students going to college, beyond the professional connection, to make connections with their hall staff. They should let them know that ‘this is something I’ve been struggling with, this is something I’ve been working with.’ If you’re comfortable enough to tell them, they can be supportive of you that way.”
What about your roommate?
Many roommates are randomly assigned, but do you have an obligation to tell them about your situation while discussing that you like to sleep with a nightlight? According to Wallace, whether or not you tell your roommate is an individual decision. A student has to feel confident enough in what he or she is going through before telling someone else.
“The key part of this is that they trust their roommates, and it’s something they’re comfortable with, as with sharing anything else that’s intimate and personal,” Wallace says.
Kaylee Conley, MU senior and former volunteer in the MU Health Center pharmacy and physical therapy departments, says that if a person can trust his or her roommate, the roommate could be a great resource and supporter.
“[Roommates] can be good friends because they’re going through the same things you are and can give a perspective that might be similar to yours,” Conley says.
Deepika Parmar, MU senior and president of the Student Advisory Council, says that a roommate can also keep a close watch on your condition to get you help in times of need.
“[A benefit of telling a roommate] would include early detection and prevention of any serious issues that might arise,” Parmar says. “If depression worsens, the roommate can involve parents or SHC psychiatrists and psychologists to monitor the problem.”
But if your roommate is the type of girl who “borrows” your clothes without asking or munches on the treats from your care packages, there are other places to turn. The MU counseling center is free to students and offers services in either individual or group therapy. Walk-in services for crises that come up unexpectedly are available Monday through Friday from 8 a.m. until 5 p.m. The Student Health Center also has a mental health unit that treats students. They can seek resources in either location but will most likely be referred to the psychiatry unit of the health center if medication is needed. Both services are great options for students. However, Conley says one of the downfalls is that they are so popular it can take a while to get an appointment.
Maintaining treatment
Continuing treatment is vital for college students. Wallace says that all too often, students assume their condition will get better in college because it’s a different environment. “Sometimes students coming to school feel like college is a greener pasture since it’ll be fresh and new,” he says. “Sometimes students will come to college and let their prescriptions lapse. It’s a struggle to change doctors, find a new therapist and go to the counseling center, but they really need to continue their professional help.”
We’ve all experienced the increased responsibility that comes with living on our own, but taking action to protect your well-being is one of the best ways to exercise responsibility, Parmar says. “Choosing to go to the mental health clinic shows that a student has excellent problem-solving skills and is in tune with his or her own mental wellness,” she says.
The role of a friend
And what about the friends who have been informed that a friend is struggling with a mental illness? Conley says that the role of a roommate or friend who knows of a condition is also essential to helping a friend succeed.
“[As the friend of someone suffering from a mental illness], you need to consider how open your friend is and see if they’re willing to discuss their issues,” she says. “But you also need to be respectful and approach them in a way that lets them know that you’re there for them but not forcing them to tell you about it. If they need someone, they can turn to you, and you’ll be there for them.”
As much as you want to help a friend, it’s also important to remember that you can’t provide a cure on your own. There are limits to how much peers can help, and Wallace says it’s easy for friends to become as consumed by the problem as the sufferer.
“Someone who is trying to help in that situation needs to remember that they can be supportive up to a certain point,” he says. “You can’t take over that person’s life. Say you’re a roommate of someone struggling with depression. There may be a sense of, ‘Wow, I need to stop my activities to help this person.’ They can do what they can to help, but they can’t become a substitute parent or sit every hour of the day and night to help them. Sometimes support has to be given in a way that is most effective and direct. The supporter needs to draw compassionate, caring boundaries.”
No one expects you to share your condition with everyone you meet. Because of the stigma that our society sometimes has against those who suffer from mental illnesses, it’s important to surround yourself with people you trust and who will make sure that you’re successful.
“We live in a society that has traditionally had a prejudice against people with a mental health issue,” Wallace says. “But many people struggle with some form of emotional problem, interpersonal troubles, adjustments to new environments or relationship concerns. Everyone has a day where she or he feels depressed, so most of us can relate. We all have abilities and things to offer, but we’re differently abled. It’s about basing your attitude in a positive manner and viewing the gifts they bring to the world.”
To schedule an appointment at the MU Student Health Center, call (573) 882-1483, or to schedule an appointment with the MU Counseling Center, call (573) 882-6601.