I always have a tendency to get excited for holidays at least a month before they happen. I was celebrating Halloween back in August, to be completely honest, so by the time Oct. 31 finally rolled around, I was over it.
I’m ready to start celebrating the holidays almost two months in advance. I’m ready to fight a Thanksgiving turkey. Hell, I’m ready to fight my relatives during the whole holiday season.
Don’t say you aren’t ready, too, because I know you are.
Now that we are in Advanced Fall/Pre-Winter, we can all start doing the things we’ve been itching to do since, well, last December:
Listening to holiday music
If you’re the type of person to cringe whenever “Santa Baby” comes on the speakers at the grocery store when you’re just trying to live your life in peace, I respect you. I, however, am absolute trash for holiday music. Without any dramatics, it gives me the energy that sustains me until next winter season. If you’re sick of the type of stuff that comes on 101.5 Soft Rock (read: Michael Buble,) check out the holiday albums by She & Him and Grace Potter & The Nocturnals. They’re a lot more fresh and, in my opinion, more cheerful. I have an old faithful playlist I listen to every year; you can listen to it too, here.
Listening to depressing music
Okay, hear me out. The perfect time to stare dramatically out a window is when snow is softly falling and you’re wrapped up in a bulky sweater. Listening to The Smiths is so much more appropriate for some reason; it just fits the season. You can start listening to Mumford & Son’s other half of their discography if you want (You know what I’m talking about. “Winter Winds” is strictly for cold weather.) All the bubblegum pop hits of the summer are starting to fade away, and we can all appreciate the slower, more emotional songs that come out in the cooler months.
Destroy your house with fairy lights
Maybe one or two strands of lights make it into your bedroom the rest of the year; we’re with you. However, in the #holidayseason, fairy lights can cover literally every surface in your house. Fairy lights hanging from the ceiling, fairy lights in your sweater-filled wardrobe, fairy lights hanging off of other fairy lights. Illuminate your home to the point of ridiculousness because it’s post-Halloween and there’s no better time than that.
Getting your favorite holiday drink
We all have one. Mine is the mocha frappuccino with peppermint and raspberry syrup from Starbucks. Everyone else thinks it’s disgusting and also inappropriate that my favorite winter drink is cold, but I won’t let anyone stop me. Plus, now that October is over, no one can stop you either. So, give calorie counters the middle finger and pick up a gingerbread latte to get you through the final leg of 2016.
Speaking of drinks: eggnog
It’s like the candy corn of the winter season. That is, people would either kill for eggnog or just straight up kill eggnog. No one is neutral on eggnog. I, for one, would bathe in eggnog if it weren’t so expensive (yes, that’s the only reason why I’m not.) There’s only a two-month window to enjoy this strange blend of milk, cinnamon and raw eggs, so y’all better enjoy it. Or, at least, not actively hate those who do.
Bake everything
Baking is usually done year-round, more or less, but as soon as November begins, people get really, really into baking. I maybe bake one sheet of cookies the rest of the year, but as soon as I see a single ornament in the store, I become the next Martha Stewart. Maple sugar-crusted apple pie, chocolate pecan pie, or blueberry crumble pie … did I mention I like pie? There’s just something about putting on a worn apron, laughing with your friends and making pastries filled with way too much sugar and Crisco. It’s a shameless post-Halloween pastime.
Preparing for ABC’s “25 Days of Christmas”
Yes, you read that right. I have basically all the movies already on DVD, but it’s so strangely nostalgic to tune into ABC (now Freeform) and watch whatever Christmas movie they have on while my family and I decorate the Christmas tree. Even the announcer guy saying “and now we return to the ‘25 days of Christmas’” is comforting. Since Halloween is out of the way, I can shameless study the schedule (which you can find here if you’re interested) and no one can get mad at me.
Setting up the tree
Because I have way too many pets, natural Christmas trees are out of the question. We’ve invested in a massive fake tree instead, complete with the little fake cranberries and snow crusted on the branches, and I’m putting that beautiful son of a bitch up ASAP, no chill. I don’t care if my relatives have to cram themselves around it for Thanksgiving; I can do whatever I want.
Wear red and green together
It’s always a little too cliche to wear red and green at the same time unless it’s in preparation for Christmas. At no other point in the year can those two colors coexist on one person. Now, of course, we can wear however much red and green we want. I still feel the need to pace myself until December, but even then, it’s more than we usually get. It’s like a sense of freedom; no one can look down on you because the joke’s on them—it’s not vastly inappropriate now.
So here we are, in the best and longest holiday of the whole year. Happy post-Halloween, y’all!