As an out-of-state student coming from California to Missouri, the first questions I am asked are, without fail: “Why would you ever?” (said in a usually revolted tone) or “Is Missouri a huge culture shock?” And surprisingly enough, my answer to the latter is always, “No, not really.” That is for the exception of these five eccentric trends that never quite percolated the West Coast.
1. Chacos
These shoes can be seen strapped on the feet of virtually every guy and girl on MU’s campus, but is no one going to talk about the fact that they look alarmingly similar to the pair of sandals our moms made us begrudgingly wear white water rafting when we were 12? Chaco’s website says its sandals are “fit for adventure” and “built to meet different needs” but unfortunately, I’m having trouble finding the pair that is designed to accommodate my perilous lifestyle of walking on smooth pavement for approximately 30 minutes a day.
2. Tennis skirts
Coming to Missouri, I didn’t quite get the memo that all of the girls here get their fashion tips from Maria Sharapova. Frankly, the most tennis I’ve watched consecutively is when Carol really couldn’t get her sh*t together in “Bridesmaids” so it had never previously occurred to me to purchase tennis attire until I arrived in CoMo and saw the tennis skirtpocolypse firsthand. Aside from the fact that they are adorable and flouncy and nauseatingly girly on all levels, think of all their practical qualities as well, like how breezy they must be!
3. Toasted ravs
Just to give all you toasted rav fiends some perspective, when I asked my Californian roommate if this would be a good item to include, her response was, “What the f**k are those?” Although they may not be native to Columbia specifically, on the west coast they are but a far-off fantasy for pasta lovers like myself. Considering all other carbs taste better toasted, I’m honestly ashamed that I didn’t think of it first.
4. Monogrammed… everything
Forget your initials? No sweat. Just look down at your t-shirt pocket. Or your necklace. Or your purse. Or your backpack. Because if you’re a girl at Mizzou, they’ll be scrolled out in that token cursive font for the world to see. Personally, I’m just a little disappointed my initials don’t spell out a fun word when rearranged in that particular order, like cow… or die.
5. Norts (Nike shorts?)
I am typically a fan of the whole combining two words to create a new, funky word thing but not this time. It sounds vaguely like the word “snort,” something I’ve been made fun of for doing while laughing far too often throughout my lifetime to ever have an affinity for this word. Worse yet, I just googled “norts” and a pair of monogrammed ones popped up… monogrammed. I rest my case.