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What’s Your Coffee Horoscope for Finals Week?

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Minnesota chapter.

Horoscope [hȯr-ə-skōp] (noun): A forecast of a person’s future typically based on the relative positions of the stars and planets.

Somehow, I doubt Orion’s belt knows that I’m going to have a “chill and creative day.” There’s one thing, however, that I know will correctly predict my next 24 hours: coffee. So here’s a little coffee horoscope to guide you through your beverage choices during finals week!

Home-Brewed Black

You’re about to start any normal day. You’ve got a decent amount of sleep and only need a little kick start for your morning. Today will be pretty average.

Hot Chocolate

You “don’t drink caffeine,” but you’ll be whining about how tired you are in a few hours and how you want a go take a nap. Order a mocha next time to get your foot in the coffee door. Embrace life and wake up!

Chai Tea Latte

You’re trying to reenergize with a “healthier” looking option. I mean, tea’s good for you, right? Try attending a yoga class later or de-stress with a coloring book to compliment your chilled out vibes, not to mention this will help you keep calm during finals week too!


There are a few things on your to-do list today, but since you ordered a Frappuccino, you’re still not in full-on adulating mode yet, and that’s okay. The sugar rush from the whip alone going to make you hype for the rest of the day, watch out world…


You enjoy the simple life. It’s the perfect day to take your drink back to your desk and spend some time working to get ahead. You’ll get crazy for your next coffee shop visit.

Depth Charge

Ah, the Depth Charge: espresso added to black coffee. You’re going to have one hell of a day when you go for extra caffeine poured into your caffeine. May the professors be ever in your favor. Wondering whether or not you should love the extra caffeine or leave it? Check out this week’s feature, “Caffeine and Your Body: What You Need to Know,” to find out!

Venti Carmel Macchiato with Four Extra Shots of Espresso

Congratulations, you just realized you’re on deadline! Your procrastination has finally come around to bite you in the a*s, and you need of a small miracle to get it together… aka this caffeinated monster. Good luck surviving today.

No matter what your cup o’ joe says about the day ahead, take it in stride! The caffeine will get you through, and you’ll be ready to embrace tomorrow’s brew.

Lauren is the Her Campus Correspondent at the University of Minnesota where she is currently studying Strategic Communications with and emphasis in Public Relations. Lauren also works for a national nonprofit organization called Miss Amazing that focuses on empowering women with disabilities by hosting programs offering the opportunity to develop life long skills, build confidence, express themselves, and create meaningful relationships. In addition to her work with Her Campus and Miss Amazing, Lauren also works as the Public Relations and Branding Coordinator at Metropolitan Salons and Spas and as an assistant at a law firm in downtown Minneapolis. When she isn't busy working, Lauren enjoys reading, shopping, spending time with her family and friends, and of course watching New Girl. Lauren is an enthusiast for many things: coffee, Kate Spade, office supplies, home décor, women's empowerment, and pugs, just to name a few. Lauren's favorite quote (right now) is, "Give me some wifi, a pair of heels, some coffee and watch me make the world go round." HCXO!