In my final year and final semester of college, I have found myself very reflective of the experience while also excited for all the things to come. I know I will be sad to leave my college days behind, but I find joy in knowing there’s new experiences out there. With that in mind, my last semester is underway, and I find the bittersweetness of this time at the forefront of my mind.
I wish I could start off by saying something like here’s what I learned about adulthood or here’s a list of things you must do as a senior, or something more wisdom-filled. Instead, I am left only with my own experiences in college and the things that I have learned from it (maybe you can find a bit of wisdom in it). As I reflect, I have thought back to that freshman year me stepping on to Millersville’s campus for the first time as a students. Prior to that I had visited, and decided this place would be my home away from home, and let me say, it did not disappoint in that regard. Freshman me was terrified, that much I can remember. It all felt so big and overwhelming. Honestly, I find that feeling again now as I look into the world outside of college. I think if there is one thing freshman me found out, it was to push yourself little by little into doing the things that scare you a bit. The new found freedom of living on campus in college and being away from your family (for a lot of us, myself included, for the first time), is powerful and intimidating, but you can learn so much from it! Gaining that independence is so important for the future.
Let me also just note my classes freshman year were not easy! While I was taking challenging classes in high school, I wasn’t really prepared for the struggle of time management when you had so much flexible time in between classes. Finding a balance wasn’t necessarily easy because you have this new freedom to explore, but classes are ultimately why most of us are in college. Doing well is the first step into staying, so I quickly learned how to push myself. I made routines where I could and got involved with clubs and organizations to meet people aside from that that I had befriend from orientation or my classes. Building that support network was vital.
My college experience ended up being shaped and altered through the COVID-19 pandemic. We were sent home for extended Spring Break in March 2020. I think many of us who were on a college campus during the shut down had the sense of surrealness of the situation. We thought “oh this will just be extended spring break,” and we will all be back together again. While we weren’t back together in person, my friend group found other ways to connect. I remember talking on the phone for hours at a time with one of my friends, texting back and forth with many others, and FaceTiming or Snapchatting videos to one another. It was a weird time. That freedom and flexibility I had felt for those months on campus, had fallen away into being back at home, and this time less flexible than ever with the state of the world. Online classes were hard and a major adjustment for all of us. This college experience may not have happened on campus, but I was still learning and growing.
My sophomore year then was spent in online classes. I lived at home during that time, taking online classes from my childhood bedroom and spending hours on the phone and on social media to stay connected. I went on walks and when the weather was nice, I took my laptop outside. I would say this online year felt quite unreal. It was a difficult time to navigate, though I appreciate the flexibility that the pandemic life encouraged me to have. The ability to pivot and rewrite the plans was something we all learned pretty quickly, which I personally feel are great skills to have moving forward even if they were forced upon us.
I also want to give a quick shoutout to Orientation at Millersville. This is an incredible program made of incredible people. At the end of my freshman year, I was selected to be an OL (orientation leader) and later between my sophomore and junior year I was on the Orientation Planning Committee. Without getting too sentimental, this program changed my life. Even with many parts of it being online due to COVID, I grew my confidence and leadership abilities in ways freshman year Natalie could never dream of! Orientation made me a more equipped person.
In looking back, I would say my junior year picked up more where I left off and my orientation job was the starting point for that. I was able to move into an apartment and gain more independence again. I took classes in person with masks, but I was just happy to be with my communities again. This was when I really felt the college experience begin to sink in. I could see people; hang out with them before and after classes. I went to the library, hung out at friends houses, and generally dove into the college experience even with some lingering restrictions. I made some new friends and got closer with some of the ones I had missed over the pandemic. I learned to challenge myself and develop connections with people once again.
Now here I am a senior. I sit here reflecting on all that has happened. I don’t think freshman year Natalie would recognize me today. I am now in a classroom student teaching middle school students! While I knew that was the plan, everything in the middle of my experience made it feel uncertain, but now spending time in school, I have never been more sure of my path of being an English teacher.
All this rambling is to say that college didn’t necessarily go the way I could have envisioned or planned. Things were messy along the way, but it worked out okay in the end. As a senior, I find myself thinking back to those nerve wracking first semester days where nothing seemed too sure. I barely knew where my classes were let alone knowing where I would end up at the end of the four years.
While I still have some weeks left, I can say my college experience has been worth it. It has (hopefully) prepared me for all that comes next! At the start of college I had a lot of unknowns even knowing my end goal. Now, I can’t even say I fully know what the end goal is, but I’m excited (and maybe a little scared) to step out into the world and find that next unexpected adventure.
It’s bittersweet to think back on all the time I have spent in college, knowing I will soon be onto the next thing and leaving it behind. That being said, there will always be the memories and the moments that led to here and now, and I know I wouldn’t be the me today without them. It’s sad leaving those things behind, but sweet knowing I will tackle the next steps in whatever comes my way. Senior year, you may be over soon, but I’m ready for the next adventure!
HCXO,
Natalie