The wedding bells have certainly been ringing this year as the world gets back to normal, post-pandemic quarantine. Couples who missed out are trying to find the perfect chance to walk down that aisle and tie that knot! Of course, it’s a happy occasion, but it makes some people wonder “When am I going to get that fairy tale ending?”, especially those of us without a current significant other.
Many of us are at that age where we open Instagram or Facebook and the first thing we see is an engagement announcement. Sometimes it’s a family member but, at least in my case, most of the time it’s a friend or a previous or current classmate! And very rarely, it’s all three. At first, it’s such an exciting feeling and you comment on the post saying “Congratulations! I’m so happy for you!”, but what happens after that? Us single ladies are reminded once again that we are no closer to that happily ever after. Or so we think.
It’s easy to compare ourselves to our peers when they achieve common milestones in life, like marriage. We often believe we are failures because we haven’t followed that same timeline of finding our potential life partner by the time we are in our early 20s. But that’s what our societal standards lead us to believe. Our search for “the one” happens on its own timeline and it cannot be rushed.
By the end of this year, I will have attended 4 weddings. Of those four I will have been a member of 3 of those wedding parties, one of which I am Maid of Honor; and all four I currently plan on attending single. During the last wedding I was at, all I could do was watch the happy couples on the dance floor smiling and happy to have someone, and had that reminder in the back of my head that I was there alone. At the beginning of the night, I was happy for the couple but that painful reminder crept up on me when the dancing started. At that moment I felt alone and without any prospects for a happy romantic life, and it was a hard feeling to swallow especially sitting at the singles table for the bridal party.
So how do us single people not feel behind when it comes to walking down the aisle? I wish I had an easy answer, but the best suggestion I can give is in those moments when you find yourself comparing your romantic life to someone, remind yourself of all the other good aspects of your life. For me, that’s thinking about the other forms of love I have with my family and close friends. It’s also reminding myself that I’m still young, and there is still plenty of time for me to search for a significant other and that finding that person, for me, is an adventure. Most importantly, it’s about looking ahead at what goals I can achieve now regarding my education, and more importantly my career. Without having a clear mindset about those things I cannot expect to find someone to spend the rest of my life with.
No matter your relationship status, always remember that you are worthy of love, just the way you are.
HCXO, Erin