What was the last romantic comedy you saw? How did the characters meet? Were they best friends who suddenly realized they’ve always been in love, or was it more of a “love at first sight,” type of deal? How did they get together? Did they pine over each other after that first time they saw each other at Starbucks, or was it the cliché hating each other until they’re forced to work together and the switch flips? Not that long ago, I finally watched “Sleepless in Seattle” for the first time and pardon my French but I was not impressed. She spends the whole movie obsessing over this guy she’s never met and then at the very end they finally meet and I guess it’s just happily ever after? But they don’t know anything about each other. As I was watching it I really kept thinking that love is so much more complicated than that.
Fast forward a few months and I’m watching “When Harry Met Sally” for the first time (I guess I’m just a Meg Ryan fan). And this one spends the whole movie setting the scene for Harry and Sally’s relationship, and right when it finally happens, they have a fight and you’re left worrying if they’ll make up before the credits roll (plot twist: they do). The whole movie, Harry keeps talking about these absurd relationship rules or stipulations that happen or need to happen. And then I got to thinking, is love really this hard to track down? You spend the whole movie watching them have fun together and be there for each other and all I could think was, need this be so complicated?
So what is it? Are we destined to fall in love with someone and defy all odds, all improbabilities to be with that person? Or is everyone else watching us with someone and knowing that it’s meant to be but both parties keep dragging their feet? In my experience, a little bit of both.
My fiancé and I met when we were young teenagers when I definitely wasn’t ready to be in a serious relationship despite us both being interested. I pushed him away and then I had to watch him date other girls, and that sucked. The situation was hard, but what made it easy was this simple fact: I loved him. He was happy, and I still got to be part of his life. I know not everyone is as lucky as I was to be able to be best friends with the man they’re in love with, but the simple point is that sometimes the questions are hard, but the answers are easy.
We cloud ourselves with too many details, too many time constraints, too many bogus reasons to keep ourselves from really chasing what makes us happy. Clearly, there are some things that should absolutely keep us from pursuing someone; but stop letting these external factors that have nothing to do with what you want to keep you from getting it. Stop waiting for the right time, because it’s never going to be a perfect time.
Find the person who will ride the highs and the lows with you. Find the person who would wait forever for you. Find the person who would do anything for you, and once you do; be with them. Stop letting everything but your heart tells you what you need. (Obviously use your head too, don’t chase down terrible or married men or anything), but stop making things so complicated. Life is too short to be less happy than you can be. Embrace love, don’t be afraid to make yourself a little vulnerable, because you don’t want to waste another second thinking about what could be. Make it a reality.
*All photos courtesy of giphy.com