I think people who say, “I don’t care whether or not I am liked” are lying, both to us and to themselves. Deep down, everyone wants to be liked. Humans are social creatures. It’s hard when those around you don’t want to be your friend, or don’t even want to be near you. You may feel sadness, betrayal, loneliness, confusion, anger, or a mix of all of the above.
I’m going through something like this right now. Returning to Millersville for the semester has been a big adjustment for me socially after being tossed aside by my old “friends” and attempting to find my confidence again. I’m working on it. The main thing I tell myself is this, and I am hoping that it will help you, too, in your daily lives:
You cannot control how other people feel about you.
It’s a hard pill to swallow, the idea of not being in control, but it’s necessary to understand. You can do backflips for those who don’t like you, and nothing would change. You can try as hard as you want to, but there is no guaranteeing you will sway their minds.
Though you may want people to like you, you don’t need them to. Ask yourself, does their opinion of me change my goals, my dreams, my potential? Does it change all the amazing things I am going to do with my life? In five years, will it matter that this person doesn’t like me? No, no, and no.
It is impossible to please everyone. In fact, it’s not your job to please everyone. The main key to getting over not being liked, in my opinion, is acceptance. It takes practice to mentally train your brain that you cannot be everyone’s friend, and realize that the opinions of others are, really, none of your business. Just because someone has a negative opinion of you does not mean you have to agree with them. The only person’s opinion that defines you is your own, and no one can take that away from you.
In closing, I’d like to rephrase what I’ve said in terms of something everyone can understand: ice cream. For example, I hate mint chocolate chip, and I love chocolate chip cookie dough. For some people, their feelings are the opposite of mine. And that is okay! To some people, you will be the mint chocolate chip, and to others, you will be the cookie dough. Don’t take it personally if someone doesn’t like your flavor, because we all have different taste buds. No matter what anyone says, though, don’t let it stop you from being your sweet, amazing self.
I think people who say, “I don’t care whether or not I am liked” are lying, both to us and to themselves. Deep down, everyone wants to be liked. Humans are social creatures. It’s hard when those around you don’t want to be your friend, or don’t even want to be near you. You may feel sadness, betrayal, loneliness, confusion, anger, or a mix of all of the above.
I’m going through something like this right now. Returning to Millersville for the semester has been a big adjustment for me socially after being tossed aside by my old “friends” and attempting to find my confidence again. I’m working on it. The main thing I tell myself is this, and I am hoping that it will help you, too, in your daily lives:
You cannot control how other people feel about you.
It’s a hard pill to swallow, the idea of not being in control, but it’s necessary to understand. You can do backflips for those who don’t like you, and nothing would change. You can try as hard as you want to, but there is no guaranteeing you will sway their minds.
But, once again, it’s okay.
Though you may want people to like you, you don’t need them to. Ask yourself, does their opinion of me change my goals, my dreams, my potential? Does it change all the amazing things I am going to do with my life? In five years, will it matter that this person doesn’t like me?
No, no, and no.
It is impossible to please everyone. In fact, it’s not your job to please everyone. The main key to getting over not being liked, in my opinion, is acceptance. It takes practice to mentally train your brain that you cannot be everyone’s friend, and realize that the opinions of others are, really, none of your business. Just because someone has a negative opinion of you does not mean you have to agree with them. The only person’s opinion that defines you is your own, and no one can take that away from you.
In closing, I’d like to rephrase what I’ve said in terms of something everyone can understand: ice cream. For example, I hate mint chocolate chip, and I love chocolate chip cookie dough. For some people, their feelings are the opposite of mine. And that is okay! To some people, you will be the mint chocolate chip, and to others, you will be the cookie dough. Don’t take it personally if someone doesn’t like your flavor, because we all have different taste buds. No matter what anyone says, though, don’t let it stop you from being your sweet, amazing self.
HCXO, Cam