Bri: He could be shy, he might not be sure of how you feel about him. Do you flirt back? You didn’t mention your feelings towards him in your question so I’ll assume that you’re into him. Sometimes guys want you to make the first move. Maybe ask him what his plans are for the weekend, or if you have a class together ask if he’d wanna get together and study sometime. Mention something casual so there’s no pressure. You could even suggest a group outing to a sporting event, movie, mall trip, etc. When it comes down to it, if he wants to hang out with you and you ask, he’ll say yes, unless he’s busy. If he’s busy, maybe ask another time, or maybe he’ll take the hint and ask you. If it gets to the point of where he’s just always busy, then move on to the next one.
Robbie: Having been in this guy’s shoes before, I will say that sometimes guys are just too nervous to make the first move. Bri and I feel like it’s something that both sexes go through. Some guys just don’t know how to read the signals if a woman likes them or not. If you’ve made it apparent to him that you like him (whether just flirting back, or outwardly saying it), then maybe you need to take it a step further and ask him to hang out. There is nothing wrong with breaking from “tradition” and asking him to hang out. The way i see it, it’ll open him up and he’ll feel more confident in making the first move because you’ve made it clear that you enjoy his company. Ask what he’s doing for the weekend. Go to a football game with friends or plan a study session if you two share a class together. From there it could progress into something like meeting one on one for coffee and going for a walk around campus. Again, he may just be nervous so you might just have to give him a little push, but use something simple like a group hang out or a study session and see where it goes from there. If he likes you as much as your friends say he does, then he’ll definitely say yes. Like Bri said, if he can’t for whatever reason but takes the hint and asks to hang out later then you’re golden. If he’s always “busy” then don’t wait around.
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I’m starting to lose touch with the guy I was with at home. We were never really together, but it feels like a break up. How do I cope?
Bri: Unfortunately when we go away to school, we often drift away from the friends we have back home. I’m guilty of this, most of us are. It’s hard to keep in touch when you’re away, despite how much Facebook & texting make it easier. The best way to cope is just go out & meet new people! Don’t let it hold you back from having fun. Join some clubs, go to activities, do everything you can to be social and have fun! Sometimes people drift just to get closer later on in life. If you’re okay with drifting apart, let it happen. If not, tell him you’re concerned and see if you guys can’t make it still work out. Don’t try too hard, you can’t force things. If it’s meant to be, it’ll happen.
Robbie: Its not uncommon for these things to happen. You’re with someone from home then you drift apart. I think if you both care about each other enough then you two can sit down and have a discussion about the whole thing and let him know about your concerns. But really, college/distance could be a good thing for you both. You’ll meet new people join and discover new things about yourselves, and (ultimately) grow as people. When that happens, maybe in time you both will come together and be able to make your friendship or relationship stronger, and you’ll both feel like you guys were never apart. Quite simply, address your concerns to him, but don’t hesitate to take advantage of this time of self-discovery because it could ultimately strengthen the bond between you both.
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I dated a guy once and it was SUCH a mistake and every time I see him I want to throw myself off of a 20 story building. I have such horrible taste in guys it makes my toes curl. What makes a good boyfriend? What should I be looking for?
Bri: First off, take a deep breath & step away from the windows. Secondly, we all make mistakes and date people who later make us think “What the hell was I thinking? Was I stupid for that entire relationship?” It happens. Sometimes we date people we think are good for us and learn in the end we are incredibly mistaken. If you haven’t already, I’d recommend cutting this terrible guy out of your life (yes, this means deleting and maybe even blocking him on facbeook.)
Now, what makes a good boyfriend? There isn’t a set list of what makes a guy a good boyfriend. It’s more of what you like in a guy! Maybe a sense of adventure, someone who cares deeply about you, someone who enjoys the same music as you. Personally, I like a guy I can hold a real, deep conversation with and someone who can make me laugh. Maybe you need a guy who will just listen to you. You need to sit down and figure out what YOU want, not what every other girl wants. As an overall rule, you need someone who legitimately cares about you and fits your needs in a relationship. Don’t settle for anything less than what you want and need!
Robbie: We’re all going to be with someone at some point that we later realize isn’t/wasn’t good for us. It’s a part of life, a growing experience. Just keep the guy out of your life and remove all connection to him if it makes you feel that bad. As far as what makes a good boyfriend, like Bri said, theres no set idea of what constitutes a good boyfriend. You need to take the time to figure out what it is that YOU want. When you do that and find someone who fits that description, then you’re set. As a starter, look back at your past relationship, weed out what was negative about it/him, and look for the opposites of those things in the next guy you have an interest in.
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So, I’m dating this guy… but I’ve realized he’s kind of dumb a**. He’s really sweet and I don’t want to hurt him. What do I do?
Bri: Be honest. If you can’t be with him, don’t lead him, don’t stay with him for his sake, get out of the relationship. You need to be with someone who you respect and genuinely care about. If you feel his intelligence is a bit of an issue, then either talk to him about it or just be honest when you break up. Sweetness isn’t everything. Personality is a huge thing when it comes to relationships.
Robbie: Do you still want to stay with him? If so, maybe you could help him a little. Don’t force anything on him, but offer him suggestions that’ll help him improve and give him some direction. If that doesn’t work, then you need to be up front with him. The honesty will sting (the truth often does), but maybe it’ll be the push that he needs. Although, I would try phrasing a bit more eloquently than by calling him a “dumba**”. Like Bri said, its better to be honest about the whole thing. Leading him along or staying him for his sake won’t help either of you.