I am better at expressing my feelings through songs and poems. Would it be weird to sing to someone in public or even private? Would it be weird to read them a poem? Any thoughts?
Robbie: It might be a bit forward if you sang them a song or read them a poem in public, but it’s definitely not weird in private. Singing a song or reading a poem in public is a grand gesture usually done to ask a person to a dance in high school or to propose to someone. At least, that’s how one usually sees it done. And no, it’s not weird to read them a poem. If that is how you truly feel, it says everything you want to say and you feel most comfortable expressing yourself in that manner, then go for it. Good luck with everything! Remember, if it doesn’t work out, then at least you gave your best shot. That’s something that a lot of people can’t say.
Bri: Hey, if you’re comfortable with it, I don’t think it’d be weird for you to sing to someone in public, but they might get a little uncomfortable with the attention, unless they’re into that sort of thing, then by all means go for it. I think it’s great that you want to express yourself that way, if it’s how you do it best, then even better!
My best friend has been hanging out with a new group of people & acting fake. She also has been bringing this guy around who I don’t like. He’s always over or she’s always gone. She gets mad if I say something she doesn’t want to hear. I don’t know her anymore.
Robbie: Typically, in situations like these, a person gets mad at your honesty or you expressing your feelings because they know that you’re right and they don’t know how to deal with it. It could also be that they’re just too far gone to see they’re in the wrong, and wish not to be told how to live their life. The best you can do is try to sit her down with zero distractions (her boyfriend, phones, computers or her new friends) and voice your concerns to her in a straightforward and honest yet eloquent way. Take some time to think about what you would say, and maybe try writing it down, just to see how it feels when you read over it. You’d be doing the right thing as her best friend by being honest with her. If you’re not honest with her, you would be acting as an enabler of sorts for her current actions, making it seem as though everything is fine. If she reacts negatively or rejects you, then it might be time to move on and find a new friend; one that deserves your loyalty. You’d at least know that you were honest with her, and gave her a chance.
Bri: Ugh, this is a toughie. It’s a rough spot to be in, but like Robbie said, being honest is probably the best way to go. You can’t tell her what to do, but you can bring up your concerns. It’s possible that she’ll want this new lifestyle and as much as it hurts, you gotta let her go and learn. Sometimes people need to experience things on their own to really understand the consequences of their actions. Try to be her friend, but remember that a friendship takes two people and if you’re giving all the work, then it just means that for now, you two might need to part ways. Don’t let her actions effect you.
What are the rules/regulations for dating between residents and resident advisers?
Robbie: As far as I know, resident advisers (RA’s) are not allowed to date residents and vice versa. The reason has to do with ethics. For example, if a resident has alcohol or any illegal substances in their dorm and the RA knows about it, they would have to write that resident up and report them. However, if the two are dating, the RA is most likely not going to write them up or say anything. That will, in turn, make it “okay” for other residents to have alcohol in their dorms.
Bri: I can’t honestly say I know this off the top of my head. I think if you’re in this situation, the RA should know, seeing as it is his/her job and they should know the regulations of said job. If you’re unsure you could talk to your Graduate Assistant. In this situation, assuming wouldn’t be a very good idea.