Coming from a gal who is extremely advanced in the art of being single, mostly not by choice, I’ve heard it all. From those comments your family members you see once a year make when you return to yet another Christmas party alone, to the strangers who insert their opinion about your single life, and even your friends who seem to always have someone pining after them say, I’ve heard it all. And no matter how many times I hear these comments, it never makes me want to hurt the person who said it less. With that being said, this one goes out to all my single ladies who have heard it all and more, and to those of you who are guilty of having said these things in the past. Heed my advice: don’t.
- “Maybe you need to lower your standards”
Sorry to break it to all the guys out there, but there is a fat chance my standards will do anything but get higher for myself. Being someone who is always trying to better myself, I would expect my future guy to have a similar value. The longer I’m single and the more I grow, the higher the standards I set for myself because I know what I deserve.
- “You’re still single? But you’re so great!”
Hmm…since when is being in a relationship a signifier for someone being a good person? I do not need a relationship to validate my awesomeness, thank you very much. I’m a (semi) cool person and fun to be around and many of the people around me know that. I’m still a likeable gal; just because I don’t have a relationship doesn’t mean I’m any less of a person.
- “Well maybe you just have some growing up to do before you can find someone”
I’ve been discovering myself and learning more about myself every day for twenty years now. And I’ve seen plenty of my friends who are certainly not mature get in relationships that worked out for them. So I really don’t think that’s valid in every case. Do I still have plenty of growing to do? Absolutely. But, for me, that process is never going to end. And I really don’t believe I’m going to be single forever.
- “Have you tried online dating?”
Seeing as I live in the 21st century and I’ve been single for quite some time, of course I’ve dabbled in some online dating. But, just because your friend’s cousin’s sister’s aunt found her husband online doesn’t mean I will. In fact, online dating just made me want a relationship even less than before I logged on.
- “Don’t worry, there’s plenty of fish in sea”
Easy for you to say stranger who’s been in a relationship since high school. The dating scene nowadays is rough and it makes the sea seem extremely shallow. When you’ve been casting your line for a while and your bait is simply untouched, this phrase does nothing to make me feel better but does everything to make me want to punch you.
Hope you enjoyed my little rant session.
HCXO,
Sarah