We all know that saying, “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” When we go through a bad day, our friends or family will tell us that the hard times we are going through will make us stronger. Kelly Clarkson even uses the saying in her latest hit song, “What Doesn’t Kill You,” referring to an ex-boyfriend that she has gotten over and moved on from. I even use the saying when I’m doing a tough workout at the gym that I think may be too much for me. We all have our own sayings that keep us going.
But what do we do when those phrases or quotes that we rely on to give us strength fail us?
After finally sitting down with my RA and my ex-roommate to discuss how the situation was making me feel, I realized at last that I did not want to live in the apartments I originally planned on living in. I was able to move out of the apartment that my roommate was staying in, but I was still stuck in the same complex, and my ex-roommates five friends were also living in the complex. If I really wanted to make a clean break from the situation and start fresh, I knew that I wanted to get out of the apartment complex for good and find another place to live.
Things seemed to look up for me when I stumbled across an ad in the campus newspaper that offered off campus apartments that were fully furnished, and provided one person, two person, and four person apartments. Although there were no one person apartments left by time I called, the girl on the other end up the phone said that they provide “match living,” meaning that I would be able to meet with other girls such as myself that needed a roommate and decide if that person would be a good roommate for me. I would not be stuck with a random roommate if I signed a lease with this apartment complex.
Although the apartments were a bit far from campus, the apartments were perfect: match living, two floors fully furnished, a bus route that stopped just outside the complex to take students to campus, and the price was much cheaper than the price I would have to pay in the original apartment I signed a lease for earlier in the year.
Sounds perfect, right? Well yeah… until I read the fine print of my current lease.
The lease I had signed in October only provided a week after signing to drop the lease. Now I would have to appeal my lease and there was a slim chance I would get out of it. My heart sank. I had just made a stand for myself against my ex-roommate, I was getting myself out of my dorm room, and I had just found an even better place to live for next year. I felt depressed and literally thought the world was against me. I thought there was no hope.
After a couple days of doing nothing except pouting and occasionally crying about it, I snapped out of it. If I did not at least try to appeal my lease, I would always wonder what could have been. I realized that if I could face my roommate, tell her to her face I did not want to live with her, and take action to get out of my dorm room, then I had the strength to make one last stand.
I filled out the required form for the appeal, wrote a three page letter explaining my situation and why I needed to be let out of my lease, and the doctor I had seen on campus about my situation and depression filled out a medical form and even wrote a personal letter for me to give to the appeals board.
It was not just that I didn’t want to live in the on campus apartments anymore, it was that I literally couldn’t. I did not want to be stuck with more random roommates, and I did not want to be afraid of running into my ex-roommate and her friends every time I left my apartment. I needed a clean break. I needed to feel some peace of mind. I needed to feel safe. I deserved all these things.
After a tough week waiting for a response, I finally received an e-mail saying that I was officially released from my apartment lease.
Although this made me feel like the happiest girl on campus, I realized in that moment that what I was really proud of was the strength and courage I had through the whole process. Even though I had felt like there was no fight left in me, I had actually proved wrong that negative voice in my head that told me I couldn’t do it.
I proved to myself that I am strong enough, and that I can do anything I set my mind to, and so can you.
No matter what kind of tough situation you are dealing with, – an uncomfortable relationship with your roommate, a breakup with your boyfriend, a rough semester that has left your GPA dangerously low – there is nothing you cannot come back from. Even if you do not succeed, at least you can say that you made an effort. No matter what the outcome, you will always grow stronger from it.
Now is the time for us to make mistakes and grow from our experiences. But don’t let things like difficult classes or unhealthy relationships bring you down. You’re stronger than all of these things.
What doesn’t kill you actually does make you stronger, but only if you stand up for yourself and fight back.
Fun fact: When I am working out at the gym and feel like my workout is too much for me to handle, I actually do turn on “What Doesn’t Kill You” by Kelly Clarkson to help me through whatever I’m doing. It hasn’t failed me yet!
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Miami (OH) chapter.