Thanksgiving is great for so many reasons. You get a long weekend off from school. Going home to see your family is one of the best feelings in the world. Lounging around the house without a care in the world for the first time in months. Seeing your crazy cousins and spilling all the family tea. That post-dinner nap is completely unmatched. Speaking of dinner, we all know that the best part of Thanksgiving is the food. Stuffing your face with real food that isn’t ramen noodles or soggy dining hall broccoli for the first time in months is the closest thing I’ve ever come to reaching nirvana.
However, if I’m being honest, a lot of the traditional Thanksgiving foods are nasty. There, I said it! When I was younger, I would make my mom make me a corn dog so I didn’t have to eat all of the Thanksgiving food. So, as you can tell, I have some pretty strong feelings on the foods we eat on Thanksgiving. So buckle up, y’all. This is going to be full of hot takes. Here are all of the classic Thanksgiving foods ranked:
1. Cheesy Potato Casserole
Okay, I’m pretty sure there’s no debating this one. It’s just a combination of all that’s good in the world: potatoes, cheese and butter. You can’t go wrong! If I only had to eat one thing this Thanksgiving, this would be it.
2. Sweet Potatoes
Whether it’s the casserole with the marshmallows on top, candied sweet potatoes, or just plain sweet potatoes, these are another great addition to Thanksgiving dinner. They add an amazing sweetness to an otherwise pretty bland meal. I really like eating them with turkey to make it taste better (spoiler alert: turkey sucks!).
3. Dinner Rolls
Here’s another fan-favorite. Everyone looooooves bread. There are so many different types of rolls that you could have at Thanksgiving. But regardless of the kind, a dinner roll is a wonderful addition to any meal.
4. Mashed Potatoes and Gravy
Again, potatoes rock. They are definitely the best part of Thanksgiving. However, mashed potatoes and gravy just can’t compare to cheesy potato casserole. If your family doesn’t make potato casserole, I’m sorry, but these are an okay alternative.
5. Stuffing
Stuffing is just meh. It’s not bad, but it’s not a show stopper. I’ll always get a spoonful of stuffing and eat it. Heck, I’ll even enjoy it! But stuffing is boring. It wouldn’t be Thanksgiving without it, but stuffing definitely does not make the meal.
6. Green Bean Casserole
I actually don’t really understand green bean casserole. It’s not bad, but I definitely don’t dream about it before Thanksgiving. The best part is clearly those onion straws on top. But we all just put up with the green beans to get to those little crunchy delights.
7. Pumpkin Pie
I truly don’t get why, of all the desserts in the world, we chose to eat PUmPkiN PIe for Thanksgiving. It sucks! It’s just simply not dessert. Why couldn’t we have ice cream or cake or brownies or cookies for dessert? I somehow always forget that at the end of Thanksgiving when I’m craving something sweet, I’ll have to eat F*CKIN PUMPKIN PIE. And then my holiday truly gets ruined.
8. Turkey
I could rant about turkey for hours. It sucks. It simply just sucks. It’s dry, plain and not at all worthy of being the center of the biggest feast of the year. I’m truly baffled how on Earth turkey was chosen to be the meat we consume for Thanksgiving. Why not ham? Why not ribs??? Actually though, I could get down for Thanksgiving ribs. But WHY TURKEY? Every year, I take only one teeny tiny piece of turkey just so I don’t offend my grandma. Thanksgiving would be so much better without turkey and that’s that.
9. Cranberry Sauce
As bad as turkey is and as much as I wanted to make turkey last on this list, I just couldn’t. Cranberry sauce is actually gross. Turkey is just dry and bland. Cranberry sauce is like poison. Never have I ever successfully swallowed it. Ick! I don’t even like thinking of it. The thought of it sliding out of the can, still keeping the shape of the can, into a bowl gives me full-body chills.