Long-distance relationships can be hard in college- whether it be your relationship with your friends, family, or even your dogs. Although it can be so heartbreaking having to leave your fluffy, four-legged pup at the doorstep as you drive off to college (where your heart will break again after seeing your midterm grades), I’m not here to talk to you about your dog (although I will if you want). I’m here to make long term relationships with your SO easier for both of you.
Long-distance dates!
You and your SO can get creative with this, but if you guys need some starting ideas here are some that I can definitely support.
Facetime Dinner Dates
Yes, it will be a little weird hearing your SO chew their mashed potato bowls in the microphone of their headphones (think ASMR) but if you can get over that, this is actually a pretty fun idea. Grab your phone and get your food and it’s basically a five star night out. Extra points if you get the same thing to eat.
Facetime Homework/Study Dates
I don’t know about you but when I’m drowning in homework, I don’t want to suffer alone. I’d like to suffer with the company of someone that might make the calculus homework more entertaining and less like I’m writing a code for NASA. If you’re lucky, your SO might be good at subjects that aren’t your strong suit and they can help you with your homework. It’s like having a free tutor that you can also cuddle with and will call you cute.
Schedule a “No Distractions”
This is important. I know college is a busy time, but it’s important to block out a time of day where you and your SO will have no distractions and you can solely focus on each other. It’s also important that you try and do this at least once every day just to catch up with each other on whatever you were too lazy to text them about.
Communication is key!
This is true for every relationship but even more so for long distance ones. Since most of the communication is over text, you simply cannot text your SO “I’m fine” when you so clearly are not. Make sure you tell them when something is wrong and be willing to talk it out. Also, make note if you get grumpy when you miss them, and make sure you can relay your emotions to your SO when you need to.
Quality over quantity ($$$)
Because you both live far from each other and are broke college kids (yes all of us), be conscious of how much you are spending. Propose that whoever is making the trek to see the other doesn’t have to pay for anything when they get there, or agree to split the cost of everything at the end. And instead of planning elaborate expensive dates, choose maybe a night in with your favorite movie and smash a whole box of peanut butter chocolate Cheerios together (I promise you’ll love them). Enjoy the time you have together while you can.
Long term goals
Are you dating each other because you’re bored and you read the Cuffing Season article and now you’re terrified of spending the third Valentine’s Day in a row eating a pint of Ben and Jerry’s in your bathtub or do you really see a future with this person? Sit down with yourself and think about this. Do you truly see this lasting a long time, and does your SO feel the same way? If not, you might need to have a talk, because long distance isn’t worth it if you’re not in it for the long run.
Yes, it can be a little discouraging knowing you won’t see your SO as much as other people, but think about the positives, because there are more than you think. Both of you get to grow as independent people easier, but also get to grow and support each other together. Also, you will cherish the time you have together more and make the most out of it that you can. And you both have an excuse to travel more!