You’re in High School. You feel like no one notices you. Your crush doesn’t like you back. Romantic dates have been replaced by late-night Snapchats and your school is filled with boys who are 5’8 and reek of Axe body spray.
We’ve all been there before.
If High School dating frustrated you as much as it did me, you might have had one affirmation that got you through this struggle: “college will be different.”
“In college, you will have so many more options, ” my Mom said. “Cliques won’t exist. You will actually get to know boys, from the clubs you join and in your classes. They will be more mature and more ready for a relationship.”
And then you finally get to college…and you realize that it is not as idealistic as your family and friends painted it to be.
One thing I have learned is that in college, your problems will not magically disappear. And while college is different from High School, and in many ways better, that does not mean it will always be smooth sailing. Dating in college does not miraculously get easier: the charming player, the overconfident jock, the hot one who takes way too many selfies at the gym… these types still exist: and they always will. But there are good ones out there too. The key is staying true to yourself and finding the courage to put yourself out there: if dating is something you are interested in at this point in your life. You certainly don’t need to be in a relationship to be happy, and there is a lot of fun that comes with being single. But if you are like me, and want to spice up your dating scene, here are some tips on how to develop those romantic connections.
Take a risk
Putting yourself out there can be hard, especially if you are introverted like me. But just because something is difficult, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try. So say hi to the boy who sits next to you in class. Dance with the person you’ve been eying all night. Ask the boy in your hall to study with you. Invite him to your sorority formal. Even a simple smile can go a long way. After all, you will never know if you don’t try, and you might just make his day.
Explore your interests and do your thing
If you love to sing, audition for an acapella group. If partying excites you and dancing is your thing, get a group of friends and go to Brick Street. If you like business, rush one of Miami’s co-ed business fraternities. Following your interests and doing activities that you enjoy is not only good for yourself, but you might meet other people with those same interests… and maybe even that special someone. So don’t be afraid to branch out from what your friends are doing, because you could be missing out on what is best for you!
Give people a chance
No, I do not mean go out with that stalker from your math class. But I do think something should be said for being open-minded. If someone normal wants to take you out to dinner, maybe you should give them a chance, even if you are not particularly excited. Your opinion of someone may change, and if it doesn’t, at least you gave them a fair shot. The worst thing that could happen is that the date is bad, and you decide to never go on one with them again. Maybe you’ll get a funny story out of it!
Remember that the process is mutual
Don’t bend over backward trying to impress someone: remember that you want to be impressed too! Your worth is not determined by a person liking you back, and you don’t want to lose yourself while trying to get their attention. Someone should like you for you, not someone that you are not. The best relationships are when you feel comfortable with the person you are with, and as cliche as it may sound, staying true to yourself is imperative.
And last but not least…
Have fun with it! Try to be as positive and light as possible. Not every guy you date will be your forever, and that is OK! Sometimes dating the wrong man will lead to the right one. Trust the process and keep doing you.
You got this girl!