So we all came to college ready to make new friends, right? Whether that be in clubs or organizations, classes or study groups, we all yearn for human connection in some way or another. As a freshman, this process of finding a girl gang involves a lot of tries and fails that can be emotionally draining. The important thing to remember is to never settle for a friend because you are lonely.
I get it. Making friends is awkward and difficult when most of your friends from back home are ones you’ve had since you were five. Forcing friendships, however, is not the solution. Eventually, the small talk gets real old when the only thing you have to talk about is one class or one club. That is not what friendship is. Friendship is connecting with someone on multiple levels. Having common interests. Having similar value systems. Being able to rely on someone. All of these are part of finding your new besties in college. And most of the time, you don’t meet these individuals on the first day.
When we become blindsided by the feeling of not being alone, we can sometimes forget who we are or become oblivious to negativity. I’m talking about staying friends with someone because you have a person to go out with or a person to eat at the dining hall with rather than being their friend because they have your best interest. The people in your life, especially the ones that you meet in a foreign place, should be companions you can count on.
It is understandable that those who create the most toxic relationships in your life are doing so in a discrete way. Below are a few questions you can ask yourself about your girlfriends. If after asking yourself these questions, you don’t feel that your friend or friends are there for you, drop them! The best part about college is that there are so many people here waiting to meet you. You just have to put yourself out there.
1. When you go out, do they always make sure you have a safe way home?
2. Do they always ask you to pay, guaranteeing they will pay you back, but never do?
3. When you’re one-on-one with them, are they always talking about themselves?
4. Do they gossip about mutual friends of yours?
5. Do you perform/avoid certain actions in fear of what they will think?
6. Have they ever made you do something that you weren’t comfortable with?
7. Are you in a situation where you post/talk about them positively and they do not return the love?
8. Do they look out for you even at your worst?
9. Are you constantly getting into arguments with them?
10. Do they constantly bail or leave you out of plans?