Through past conflicts that have taken place in my life, such as bullying and lacking positive role models, I have struggled with confidence. Confidence not just within the way I looked, but also within my personality. I also didn’t have the confidence to try to achieve my hopes and dreams.
Overtime, I have evolved into becoming my own person and not caring about what others say or think about me. However, it still affects me when other women have confidence issues that lead to being undetermined, idolizing males for approval, and bringing other women down.
It was because of those things that I decided to sacrifice my sleep-in time on Saturday for the 7th Annual Women’s Conference hosted by P.A.U.S.E. (Professional Assertive United Sisters of Excellence). I wanted to focus my energy on asking questions that women struggle with such as their rights, confidence, and social status. I questioned a few speakers and attendants on what their views and opinions were regarding these issues.
Breyannah Tillman, president of P.A.U.S.E. and senior at the University of Memphis believes in the empowerment and encouragement that P.A.U.S.E. as a whole inset on college women.
“Our goal for this conference is to have every person leaving feeling empowered and confident.”
Tillman attributes P.A.U.S.E. to the help and support of her growing experience. Tillman feels that confidence is one of the keys to success and gives back by being the president of P.A.U.S.E. to empower other young women.
One of the seminars I attended was “Brainwashed or Beautiful” by Dr. Ladrica Menson-Furr. Menson-Furr is an associate professor and the director of African and African American Studies.
“As black women, everyone wants to be like us,”Menson-Furr said. “Everyone wants the tans and they say the curves are the new thing in, but who first started it? Everyone wants to be like us but we don’t want to even be like ourselves.”
I was moved by the social and mental problems that black people have, especially with being beautiful. She showed us a video that included children pointing to what they thought the prettiest child by color was. This really broke me. The children said the white child on the paper was the prettiest and the smartest.
The thing that brought me down was the other students in school and the kids and teens in the subdivision or neighborhood where I lived. They would tell me things like how I’m different from other people and it’s the wrong way to be like me.
In middle school, I realized that they all had the same look they wanted to look like and the way they wanted to act. I was the girl who went against the status quo and was put down because of it. I was also called annoying and slow (not being that bright), and that I have book-sense but not street sense.
At the end of the day, you will have to look at yourself in the mirror (inside and out) and ask yourself “Who am I? Do I completely love myself? What are three features that I like about myself?”
This is why I loved the conference—because it uplifts you in every way. Overall, the speakers spoke of women uplifting other women, women having confidence, and black women as a double inferiority. After listening to the different speakers, I have been encouraged. I truly saw a different perspective—better in life circumstances and as a female.
The last speaker was Charner Rodgers, who was the CEO of Rogers and Rodgers General Contract. She was the main and last speaker of the day.
“So many people told me, you’re never going to make it,” Rodgers said. “Your life is over. You’re so pretty and smart and now you got these two kids and nobody is going to want you.”
Rodgers graduated from the University of Memphis while she was pregnant. She had this list up on the screen that highlighted all of her issues, circumstances, and situations. Words like single mother, tired, depressed, lonely, hurt, rape victim, seeking love, needing attention, broken, and lost. Rodgers then said this is what you see today and this list appeared on the screen, helpful, intelligent, motivator, leader, successor, award winner, author, professor, company owner, and Christian. She explained what superwoman meant to her and said you have to have to be helpful, strong, have perseverance, be proud, be valuable, be dependable, and be strategic.
This is the woman I looked up to who had to basically save herself with all the circumstances. Because many people left her, she struggled through it and prayed through it. She did what she had to do to become her own superwoman.
So if you are alone singing, “I’m supergirl and I’m here to save the world and I wanna’ know who’s going to save me!” Yourself—because the ideal superwoman scrubs her own floors.