So we have all experienced our good friend, COVID. Many of us have been in school during the past two years while COVID has been going on, whether that be high school or university. With that came its challenges, specifically, socializing and making friends. Some of us have lost social skills or motivation to make friends. So how were we supposed to make friends during that time, and how do we make friends now as things begin to open up?
In this article, I will share four tips to help you figure it out.
So you are back in a public setting, where there are lots of people and lots of opportunities. That’s right. Lots. You may not see those opportunities, but that is what I am here for: to teach you how to find them. Of course, you are not going to stop someone while they are walking to ask them what their plans are this weekend, but there are other things you can do. Below are my tips on how to go about it.
1. Let us start with something easy. Imagine that you are in class, and you don’t know the person sitting next to you. My first piece of advice is to be the one to start a conversation with them. You can ask them how they are going to approach the next assignment, you can compliment their outfit, or ask them what they think about the professor. From there, just let the conversation flow naturally, and more importantly, do not get too in your head about what to say next. If you guys hit it off, amazing! You get a gold star in conversation. If it feels right, you could even follow-up by asking for their number or socials, and maybe ask to sit next to them during the next class. If you know of an event coming up, you could invite them along. Taking them to an event with you can really be a bonding moment and can help solidify that friendship.
2. If you are at the gym, making a friend might prove a little more challenging because you don’t want to stop someone’s workout, and you also do not want to come across too strong. Let us say that you see someone just finishing a workout on a machine you are about to use. You can easily start up a conversation with them. You can compliment them on their workout set, or ask them how much weight they just bench or how many miles they ran, etc. From there you can say something like, “Wow that is awesome, great work! I’m only on ___ number of weights,” etc. Try to find common ground and stick with that. While this might be as far as your interaction goes, you might see them the next time you go to the gym, and that is where you can take the conversation further. You can ask them what they are planning on working on that day etc,. If the conversation is going well maybe you can ask them if they would want to work out some time together. If you do not feel like it’s the right time, wait until you feel comfortable to ask them. From there, feel out how you guys get along and ask yourself if they are someone you want to see outside of the gym. If they are, take cues from Tip #1, and ask them for their number or socials, and ask to hang out sometime.
3. Now this is a little goofy, but a fan favourite. Get a dating app. No, no not to find dates. Download tinder, bumble, etc, and set your profile up so that if you are a girl seeking girl friends, your gender is male, that way other girls will see you. You can write in your bio that you are there to meet people, and go ahead with the swiping. This might seem weird at first, but it works. I have actually done this a few times when going to a new place and met some pretty cool people! Ask them to go downtown to walk around or to get coffee, so almost like a date, but a friend date instead.
4. Now this is something that is really going to get you out of your comfort zone. I’m going to tell you my experience first before explaining. So there is this little family-owned grocery store near my house. I go all the time but only recently started noticing a girl working there around my age. In the peak of Covid, I was desperate to meet more people, so I decided I should introduce myself. I had never done something like this before. Although I was relatively shy, I built up the courage to ask her “Hey, are you in university? We look about the same age.” It turns out that she was only a year older than me. We chatted for about 30 seconds about what schools we went to, and then I said bye. I had an adrenaline rush because of how nervous I was, but I was really proud of myself. The next time I went to the store I saw her working, and started up a conversation with her again. Although she seemed really nice and cool, I got really nervous and ended up rushing out of the store. I caught myself and told myself, “No, you can do this. Just ask her to hangout. It is not a big deal.” I walked back into the store and nervously asked her if she wanted to hang out sometime. She was really happy that I asked and we exchanged Instagrams. We are now really great friends! I am so glad that I went out of my comfort zone to make a friend. If you see someone in public you think seems like they would be cool, shoot your shot! Take the chance and you might come out with a great new friend.
So there you go – four tips on how to start making friends again after being isolated for so long. It is important to note that not every time you ask to hang out with someone will they say yes, but that is okay. Remember to not let that hold you back from continuing your search for new friends. Remember that friends are important in our lives. So it is important to continue to make friends throughout your lifetime. It can be scary, and awkward, but trust me, it’s worth it. So get out there, use these tips, and good luck!