“You have the biggest heart. It is your greatest quality and probably also your biggest flaw”.
The author of the quote is unknown but whoever it was knew just how troubling it can be to have a good heart. I used to focus specifically on the fact that having a big heart was a bad thing, but lately I can only focus on the trouble it has gotten me into.
The best part about having a big heart is, the majority of the time, everyone around you is a whole lot happier than you are because you constantly put them before yourself. Everything you do, every decision you make, every move you take, every word you speak is typically based off of what others want from you. What others want you to do and how they want you to be. One of the worst traits that come along with having a big heart is the inability to say “no”, especially to things you really, really want to refuse. If it makes others happy, then so be it, right? Except, no. That isn’t how life is supposed to be, and that’s not going to get anyone anywhere. Not you and especially not the other people involved.
For starters, when you continue agreeing to anything and everything someone says or asks of you, you’re never going to be happy. You’re going to stray further and further away from happiness because you are never taking time to do things for yourself. As for the other people, you are teaching them that no matter what they say, ask or do, they will get their way. They will be conditioned to continue asking. On the rare occasion you do say “No, this isn’t something I want to do”, they will only throw a fit. They will get mad at you, and your big heart will make your decision sway back to their direction, to avoid having anyone mad at you.
I used to live my life like this, every single day. Anything anyone ever wanted from me, I would say yes without ever thinking twice about it. I finally started to put my foot down this year, to be honest. It took me a whole 19 years to learn how to put my foot down to people. This hasn’t been easy for anyone involved because the majority of people in my life were used to walking all over me and getting whatever they wanted. I’m done with that lifestyle, and I am willing to lose whomever and whatever it takes in the process. At the end of the day, what really matters is me and my big heart’s happiness and wellbeing. Nobody can take that away from me, no matter how big of a temper tantrum they decide to throw along the way.