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Bi the way: Six things bisexuals are tired of hearing

For some reason my sexuality seems to confuse people. Most don’t believe bisexual people exist. Even though it’s not any of their business, a lot of people like to comment on it and some of those comments are getting old.

“You’re just confused.”

I am confused about a lot of things, like how to do taxes, for example, but I’m not confused about my sexuality. I am bisexual, but that doesn’t mean I don’t know whether I like men or women: it means I like both men and women. That’s all there is to say about that.

“You are straight now because you are dating a guy” or vice versa

Why is it assumed that my relationship status would instantly change my sexuality? Just because I am dating someone of the opposite gender does not mean I’m straight. Nor does it mean I’m gay if I’m dating someone of the same gender. I like the person I am dating, but I am still bisexual.

“So, you’re half gay half straight.”

Bisexuality is a spectrum just like many other identities. This isn’t to say that some people who are bisexual don’t fall right in middle, but it shouldn’t be assumed. Everyone has preferences. Just because you like both apples and oranges doesn’t mean you must like both equally; you may like prefer apples to oranges. Someone who is bisexual may prefer their own gender over others, but would still date people outside their gender because they are attracted to both.

“You have to choose.”

I really don’t. You can eat both apples and oranges so I can like whoever I please. I may end up marrying one over the other but that still doesn’t change who I can find attractive (see number 2 for more information).

“So, you’re into threesomes?”

Just because I like both men and women doesn’t mean I want to have sex with them both at the same time. Don’t get me wrong, some bisexuals are into it. It’s just not right to assume that I am instantly interested in threesomes because of my sexuality.

“Are you even queer?”

Yes. The definition of bisexual is liking two or more genders. So, sometimes we can enjoy the privilege of people who are straight, because we may date the opposite gender, making us appear straight. But, we are still part of the queer community.

Bi-phobia is very real in both the straight and queer communities. We can face discrimination because people will stereotype us as promiscuous, and this can lead to people refusing to date us in fear that we will be disloyal, or take advantage of us because they think that’s our nature. Either way, we are a part of the queer community and face discrimination because we are considered a minority.

I am commonly found reading in a hammock with at least three blankets, I'm a scorpio, I help run a Shakespeare club and I hope to fill my future with some awesome adventures.
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