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Wellness > Sex + Relationships

Recovering from Unrequited love: “Hey hey hey hey, I wanna be your girlfriend!”

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at McGill chapter.

Have you ever had a crush in your friend group?

Have you ever went through an unrequited love? 

Well, I have. To be concise, I had.

Only two weeks after the beginning of my first year, I had a crush on a boy. And this boy was in my new friend group

He was such a cutie with a warm and lovely smile who cares a lot about his friends. Every night in the study room, whenever I felt tired, he would pat my hair softly and say: “you can do it, I will be here.” I remembered the night I missed dinner, he shared a cup of hot chocolate with me; I remembered the warmth in his paw when I was freaked out by the horror movie during our group’s movie night; he held my hands tightly and patted my back… 

all of those little moments plus the fact that I can see him every day, made me fall deeper and deeper into him. I couldn’t help marking down all of his small habits like how he loves orange juice and sweet food but hates Shakespeare (lol). I even wrote stupid notes and put in the envelope. Just by looking at his eyes and catching him smiling at me was the best thing ever. 

Day after day, I wanted to tell him how I felt and more importantly, I wanted to know how he felt about me. Did he look at me in the same way that I looked at him? 


But all of my stupid imaginations were crushed when one of our friends told me that he has a girlfriend…

“I am sorry, we tried to tell you but we could never find a perfect time. We just didn’t want to hurt your feelings…Boys are stupid, he wouldn’t know how you feel about him. R is just a good boy who treats his friends well, that’s why you’re confused…” 


So… after everything it only turned out to be an unrequited love …

I was depressed for nearly 4 weeks… but life still goes on and I have to be as strong as a Queen!


Here are a Queen’s recovering rules:


Rule #1: Always check beforehand if that boy is dating someone or has a girlfriend.

Before diving into the love, ask other friends in the group to help you find out! If you know he already has a girlfriend, you can pull yourself out before it’s too late! (Prevent putting yourself in an awkward situation.)


Rule #2: Get away from idealization and try to look at him as a normal human being instead.

I understand how hard it is to give up someone you really like but remember, when you love someone, you usually focus on their “perfect side” and ignore their “bad parts”. So just take your time to unravel your perceptions and gradually see your “love object” as they really are.


Rule #3: Borrow a friend’s shoulder to cry on.

Pretending you’re okay is not okay! It’s totally understandable that you need to release these negative emotions. Don’t lock yourself out of your friend group. Go to someone and just talk and cry. “Friendship will blossom into love.”


Final Rule: “Trust me, you are the most wonderful girl I have ever seen!”

Borrow my friend’s words: “if the person you like doesn’t have the same feelings for you, that doesn’t mean you are not a wonderful person or nobody likes you. It is simply just a chemical thing and we have no control over it. He is a nice guy but I don’t think he is the right one for you. You will find someone who connects with you, I promise.”

Finally, if it takes time to get back to your normal state, then take it! Set a long-term plan, and don’t panic.


Repeat after me: “I am a wonderful person because I am a cutie!” (Just remember that you are beautiful.) 

One day, a boy will sing for you: “hey hey hey hey, I wanna be your boyfriend!”


Images obtained from:

The Mind Journal Editioral: https://themindsjournal.com/one-day-someone-will-love-way-deserve-loved/

The Random Vibez: https://www.therandomvibez.com/unrequited-love-quotes/

Tagpik.com: https://tagpik.com/instagram-photo-kcitehtsea/1844692564739269539_689577…

17 Times Audrey Hepburn Set The Bar Too High by Sarah Galo: https://www.buzzfeed.com/sarahgalo/happy-birthday-audrey-hepburn?utm_ter…

Pinterest: https://i.pinimg.com/564x/41/31/b4/4131b405717fc7cc7f995b4c8c8c246e.jpg

Huirui Zhang

McGill '22

a "mom" friend: if you need a hug, I will return with all my love. a theatre dreamer: a Disco ball falls into the dark forest, somebody gives a lights shot, and then the magic appears. I want to be the person who turn the lights on. a sensitive 18-year-old girl, experiencing brand new university life.