“To recover their power, women need to move psychically and through metaphor to a place beyond the well-traveled routes of patriarchy and all its institutions.” — Adrienne Rich
What comes to mind when you hear the word apocalypse? Maybe you think of violence—death—a Hollywood depiction of global breakdown. The Greek etymology takes us in a different direction. Apokalyptinen, the original Greek root, translates: to uncover, to reveal. An apocalypse is a revelation. The next questions are: what is hidden and how do we unveil it?
The world runs on male-to-femxle relationality. In other words, wxmxn are trained to consider themselves in relation to men, first and foremost, from an early age. There are healthy exceptions, but this is the general rule. Why? It comes down to sex and power.
Think back on your life. Can you name the experiences that formed you and the habits you inherited from the societal programming of male-to-female relationality? If femxle bodies are encouraged to please the male body politic, both aesthetically and psychically, then what are the implications of femxle-to-femxle relationality? Much like the physical brain, the psyche is neuroplastic. In other words, you can, through thought and action, prune the Patriarchal programming and return your mindscape to a sovereign, sacred space.
Let’s engage in a thought experiment together and explore the world of absolute femxle relationality. Your psychic foundation is now informed strictly in relation to other wxmxn. Rest assured, this powerful consciousness is applicable regardless of your sexual orientation: If you’re gay, this is a breeze; if you’re bi, this isn’t a stretch; if you’re “full-stop” heterosexual, the power you will cultivate is autonomous and will be a valuable resource as you move through the world with and alongside men. If you are having a hard time connecting to the concept of absolute femxle relationality, replace the words with an image of a luxurious golden key—one that unlocks a special world of sovereign power.
Take your key and unlock the door in front of you; you’ll know which door to choose—it is the door that has been blocking you. It doesn’t matter how big or how small the block is, this golden key will open it. Turn the lock. Open the door. Let your body and mind be free in the space behind it. Here, you exist only in relation to wxmxn. There is no male gaze. No sex-based limitation. No psychic binding. No internal policing. No gendered norms to adhere to. Outfit yourself in this “post-apocalyptic” mindset. (Remember, an apocalypse is a revelation!) Is a new “bit” of you coming into view? Is it new, or uncannily familiar? Can you see a vision of yourself in your mind’s eye? Is it simple—your body moving through the world without being unduly “seen?” Is it aesthetic—a change in your style, something you’ve always wanted to try, for you and you alone? Maybe it’s even revolutionary, agitating an entire shift of your person, transforming the way you think, speak, and move. Maybe you can feel it: a deep relaxation in your body. I call this feeling of profound relaxation “original freedom.” You know, the body bliss that we enjoy before the gendered experience knocks you and locks you.
With any rebirth—psychic or otherwise—resistance is natural. I’m sure there is some resistance in your mind right now. Perhaps you’ve had an experience that does not support the idea of freedom within femxle relationality; many wxmxn have had bad experiences with their peers. My wish is to debunk those myths. Here, there is more than legal equity, there is psychic equality. It is the perfect foundation upon which to become a co-creator in building the world you want to live in. This isn’t a banal, utopic daydream. It is the ultimate paradigm shift. It is teaming with possibilities. It is yours for the taking.
I am a big fan of thought experiments. Why? Because they allow you to withdraw your consent from the status quo and recover your power. And you can do it again and again. (It’s a practice.) The stakes couldn’t be higher. If you can reimagine your relationality you can reimage your self. In so doing, you are exacting your liberation from the societies’ highly sexualised underpinnings which threaten to divide wxmxn and distort our individual and collective realities. The power of femxle relationality belongs to you. Go ahead and grab it. It’s a matter of belief, action, and repetition.
Each person’s experience of this thought experiment is and should be varied. What is universal, however, is the element of sovereignty that erupts in the mind.
This is the power of femxle relationality.
Welcome to the sacred apocalypse.