Back in the fall semester, I attended the National Women in Business conference, and met Martina Buchal. Her workshop titled #STARTWITHIN: Building Confidence & Overcoming Obstacles to Success was amazing, and now it’s time to share her wisdom to all you women out there!
Martina Buchal is an internationally recognized speaker, coach and consultant dealing specifically with tough issues facing the millennial generation. To add on to her impressive resume, she has a background in law and diplomacy, and has spoken on many occasions for the United Nations’ Educators Conference and the Summit of Americas (special invitation by the Vice President of Panama himself). Not only was her story relatable to mine, she has this power to captivate your attention and draw you in to her words and wisdom. Young, intelligent, and beautiful, her steps to confidence have made me a stronger woman.
I have had the amazing chance to chat with Martina one-on-one, and women like Martina have shown me that there are people who genuinely want to see others shine and succeed. She had no clue who I was, but she showed me such generosity – and even gave me the most delicious croissant!
“Start Within”
This was the highlight of my day. The theme of the conference revolved around confidence, how men have this ability to never second guess their decisions and speak their minds, but women have the tendency to overthink. This may not be your case; however, it is mine. Martina’s workshop beautifully put together these simple steps to overcome this issue and channel your confidence. It’s a lot of hard work, but Martina has given me a starting point and we’re here to share it with you.
Let’s begin!
Step 1: “Show up! Whatever opportunity you see that piques your interest. Go. Don’t be scared to show up alone, because you don’t want to miss out on any opportunity that could arise. Call the shots in your life, just show up! It is the first step to achieving true confidence. It’s your chance to show yourself that you are good enough, and give yourself opportunities to get where you belong.”
Step 2: “Forget perfection.” How can you not but smile at these words?
“You are already awesome!”
As corny-unicorn-rainbow as it sounded, it’s the hardest thing to love ourselves the way we are.
“Give yourself the task of listing reasons why you are awesome, and you know what? You are awesome.”
How do you forget perfection? “[We must] Force ourselves to do, it’s not natural – as women it’s been our duty since birth to “be perfect.” Done is better than perfect. Aim to be finished, check your deadlines, do what you need to do, but don’t strangle yourself. Perfectionism isn’t real. It’s a target you can’t hit, and you’re only left with disappointment.”
Secondly, “We are all students of life. You should be suspicious of someone who has their whole life together. Lastly, aspire to be a master. Direct your focus on one thing, and become good at that task. Once you do, you set another task – and since you already ready know you’re good at that task, you know you can achieve your next. For example, if you’re learning to drive a car, then you can probably try to drive a motorcycle.”
Step 3: “Stand in your power.”
Time for the awkward “stand up and close your eyes” exercise. Try it yourselves! You’d be surprise how emotional it can feel. “In moments of panic and stress, stand in your power position, and think about a special moment where you achieved greatness and felt pride as high as the mountains. Channel it, be your own friend, and embrace it. Then, go and execute with confidence.
Thank you, Martina!
Step 4: “Act fast, before you can second guess yourself – fight the instinct to stay quiet, or else it becomes a habit, don’t listen to that inner voice that holds you back, share your opinions! Speak up.”
This is probably the hardest thing I have struggled with. I have always been a more passive person, who tends to be a borderline pushover. Sad, I know. However, I have been working hard not to let anyone walk over me, speaking up whenever I need to because my opinions do matter. Women still hold back. Growing up, I was told I was too “bossy” – I was only demonstrating skills of leadership. Whenever I were to give my honest opinion – I was told I was being a b****. I felt crazy, but when Martina gave the exact same examples, I realized it is not just me. We are all still living in this world of inequality, therefore it is even more crucial than ever to speak up, since “silent only leads to disaster” as she says.
“The worst outcome, someone will disagree. Let us agree to disagree.”
Half way there!
Step 5: “FAIL! Fail a lot. Permission to fail – step 1!”
This one I can totally relate to. My first ever F in my life almost destroyed me. I felt like it defined me. In the moment of a bad grade, I did not know how to handle myself. It took me a whole semester to get back on my feet and regain the confidence I once had. However, now in a moment of greater adversity, I will not kick myself down. Instead, I remind myself that a bad grade or bad interview will eventually lead to something good.
Remember, every in goal not fully realized (“failure”) packs a bunch of learning. Be sure to try, and fail often, to practice that sweet muscle of learning.
Step 6: “Be your own BFF.”
Are you one of those people who gives your friends great advice, but never listens to it yourself? Well, I am for damn sure one of those people. I think it is time to listen to my own advice, because I do give great advice.
“All those compliments you give to my friends? Let us compliment my brains, my body, my soul, it is time that I appreciate who I am. Compassion.”
Step 7: “Bounce back.” Step 2 to failing a lot!
I am still in the stage of bouncing back, but after a rough year, I deserve to be happy, and nothing can hold me back.
Step 8: “Build your tribe.”
“Surround yourself by strong women, strong mentors and sponsors.”
- Your lady tribe
- Mentors
- Sponsors (Brings you in)
To each their own, but luckily for me, I have my mother who is not only a strong woman, but an amazing mentor and supports my every move. I have an amazing environment of supportive women and men who believe in me.
Without the words of Martina, I would never had realized all these thoughts at once. It was extremely overwhelming, she has no idea what I look like, but I am eternally grateful for her words and wit. I had to email her and ask her questions I could not ask during the event, as I sadly could not find her during the networking session. Her replies were so generous, and I was so appreciative of the time she took to answer my questions so thoroughly. Her journey resonates with my family’s arrival to Canada, and her hard work is nothing but extraordinary. In addition, subscribe to her daily newsletter – it was the first thing I did after her workshop and I suggest you do the same! You can find her at: www.martinabuchal.com
Images obtained from:
http://wifflegif.com/tags/35180-confidence-gifs
https://www.oneyoungworld.com/ambassador-projects/martina-buchal-canada
https://www.sudbury.com/local-news/young-sudburian-to-hobnob-with-world-…