“He didn’t find me on Facebook, so he is not interested. I am not interested either,” said my roommate after having thought that she hit it off with a guy. One second you think you think you’re mutually attracted, butterflies in your stomach (or more like giant moths in my experience), and the next second you realize its an illusion that’s been shattered by the lack of a new friend-request in your painfully empty notification box. This raises the question – is initiating romance getting more challenging?
Today, when you meet someone, and moved past the preliminary stage when it is too early to add them on Facebook , you can get to know (and judge) them through their profile before you actually know them. In 2007 Facebook was your Rolls Royce of flirting. “Liking” a person’s picture on one end of a screen would provoke squeals of joy on the other. Indeed, “liking” and “chat” might have been the way to get a date. Flash forward to 2014, and a few more gifts – or barriers – have been downloaded to our phones: Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, Grindr, Tinder…. Is it me, or did the whole process of getting to know someone just escalate to Mission Impossible Five? What’s the best place to go to get a handle on your new paramour’s personality, and where should we expect them to be looking for yours? And when they finally connect with you on social media (or don’t), what does it mean, and what do you do next? The formula for flirting at a level that seem friendly without trying too hard is so delicately balanced, Math students should just stop whatever they are doing and help us work it out.
So the essential question here is, which is the new Yellow Brick Road that will lead you to the Emerald City? Should you be looking at:
A: Good old reliable Facebook.
B: Instagram: 100% all about appearances, i.e. how cool is your life?
C: Twitter: for the moments when you want to know, is this person more than just a pretty face?.
D: Snapchat: is the person you’re dealing with funny or pouty?
E: Grindr and Tinder: personally, I would raise eyebrows if I saw someone profiled on one of these sites, as they’re geared toward one-night hook-ups and I’d wonder if they were serious about me.
When you combine these social networks, you’ve got someone’s “CV” to the dating world, covering all their interests, travels, appearances, jobs and even their thoughts. You’ve got somone’s profile which far exceeds that featured on Facebook. Still interested? Yes? Bravo to them! But make sure you’re also being smart and efficient as you go through their combined profiles. Here goes:
- Don’t too heavy with the Instagram “likes.” I know it’s tempting, as those filters are cunningly good at making us and all our stuff look attractive, but too much “liking” can reek of desperation. Better to seem thoughtful by liking the ones that say something about them or do feature photography skills.
- Also remember that Facebook and Instagram are linked, so not only will your paramour know you liked their stuff, so will all their friends. Again, exercise cautious “liking” judgment.
- Then do a few “retweets” on Twitter, insert some funny jokes and get noticed!
So, to recap: Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and I might get a date? Phew!
One final note: the above is a useful box of tools for you to get to know each another on both your ends, but you might look at it and also wonder, whatever happened to that old fashioned way of walking up to a person and saying, point-blank, nine little words: “I like you, do you wanna go out sometime?” It can seems crazy and unsubtle to us nowadays, and some might venture to say that the rookie who tries this simply has no game. But might they in fact saving themselves from complication, in which the second-guessing and the hidden nuances of the written form might leave their desires badly communicated? While it seems terrifying, you may very well end up deciding you prefer in-person route as a a nod to the times when buying someone candy meant that you were soul-mates and “poking” someone was an annoying action rather than an initiation of sexual innuendo. It’s a confusing age in which to date, and finding your own style of romancing in this era of choice means asking ourselves: all in all, is all this new technology helping or hindering us?
Images retrieved from:
http://www.wpclipart.com/holid…