10 Reasons You Shouldn't Go To Mary Baldwin College

Are you thinking of applying to Mary Baldwin College in the future but aren’t quite sure whether it’s the right fit? Great! Here are some reasons why you absolutely should NOT go to Mary Baldwin.

1.     Missing class for a holiday unique to Mary Baldwin is so uncool.

Seriously? Why would anyone want a day of no classes to enjoy food, music, and fun with their entire school? Those girls don't even look happy. 

2.     Getting a free movie ticket for a cute little theater every month is the worst!

Choice of free popcorn or a free drink, too? This is killing me.

3.     It’s kind of embarrassing that Staunton is home to the only exact replica of Shakespeare’s playhouse.

Please don’t tell anyone! And, definitely don’t visit. It’s not like the plays are world class or anything.

4.     Staunton is almost void of culture and history.

Forget about the only camera museum open to the public free of charge, the Frontier Culture Museum, and Woodrow Wilson’s Museum. Just don’t even think about them.

5.     Everywhere on campus is a breathtaking vantage point.

Did you think this was a good thing? It’s horrifying to live and learn on a campus that looks gorgeous any time of year.

6.     Downtown is one WHOLE block away.

It’s such a long walk. Trust me, that two minutes goes by so slowly.

7.     It’s almost sickening how easy it is to become involved on campus.

I don’t care what anyone says. Joining a club or becoming a student leader is the opposite of fun. It’s not like it’s great experience or looks good on your resume, anyways.

8.     Everyone is ridiculously inclusive.

If you want to be discriminated against for anything, this is definitely not the place you want to go! Sorry, you’ll have to keep looking.

9.     Professors are always available, and they care about you.

Yuck! Good grades and networking are so useless!

10. There’s a total lack of school spirit.

Apple Eve is not exciting at all. No one even cares.

Anyways, if you’re still considering Baldwin, you must be a trooper. You really shouldn’t come here.