To My Uber Drivers,
Thank you, Mike, John, Paul, and everyone other Uber driver that has gotten me home safe. You will never understand how much I appreciate it. If it was not for all of you, I am not sure how I would get home every weekend. The cabs around Scranton can be pretty sketchy and I would never want to take one alone.
Thank you for squeezing in our friend. We know that you are only allowed to take four passengers but you felt bad leaving one person out and I cannot thank you enough for that. You saved us from having to leave someone by themselves and from having to order another Uber. My bank account could not handle the expense of another $11.00 Uber, trust me.
I cannot thank you enough for listening to all of my problems. I know I unload a lot on you within the first 5 minutes of meeting. Thank you for pretending to care about my life. I know you have probably heard a bunch of different stories throughout the night but thank you for pretending mine is the most interesting. I know that your silence when I talk is probably because you do not care but, to me, it feels like you are listening and for that I thank you.
And thank you for giving me advice. Thanks for telling me he is not worth it. Thank you for offering to beat people up.
“How was your night tonight?” – Uber driver
“Not the best.” – me
“Boy drama?” – Uber driver
“Exactly” – me
“This is a full service Uber, you need me to beat someone up?” – Uber driver
Thanks for giving me 5 stars because I know I do not deserve it. I probably should not even be given Ubers anymore because I know I am not the best customer. My location is never correct and I forget the addresses where I am going. My phone always dies so you could never call me to tell me where you are.
Thank you for letting my friends and I take the aux cord. I am sure that you do not enjoy hearing “679” by Fetty Wap, “Bad” by David Guetta or “All Night Longer” but you never complain and I cannot thank you enough. And… thank you for listening to us scream every lyric. We know that we are tone deaf but we like to pretend we are not.
Thank you for getting us home safe. At the end of the day, that is what you are there for.