Healing is the most painful thing we can experience. Most of you reading this are probably thinking that the initial wound is the ultimate pain, and I am not challenging your opinion, I’m just differing and offering you a different perspective. Allow me to explain…
When you get hurt, yes the initial wound hurts like a bitch. However, that lasts for a brief period of time, and then it is done. After that comes months, even years, of healing. That is the painful part; the dull ache, the occasional pang of intensity, the long period of time when you know you will eventually get better, and you know that the pain will go away, but you have to wait. You start to think that maybe you can’t live with that pain, and you try to figure out a way to speed up the process, or to make it end. Despite what we may wish to believe, there are no shortcuts to recovery. You must experience every phase, take every achingly slow step, and climb up that steep mountain toward happily ever after. Here is a short list of things that you may (definitely) experience while on your road to happy and healthy.
1. Tears…
Crying is detox. Let yourself spill out and release all of your emotions. Every emotion can be expressed through tears, so let them flow. Don’t be ashamed of them, they are not a sign of weakness- rather, they are a sign of strength; being strong enough to embrace their emotions and express them rather than suppress them.
2. Self- doubt…
Is it worth it? Can I actually make it through this? I could just give up now… maybe I could keep fighting though. Am I strong enough?
Yes. You are strong enough.
3. Slip-ups…
Relapse is a thing, mistakes are a thing, and nobody is perfect, no matter how hard you try. It’s okay to mess up and set yourself back a few steps in your recovery. That in itself is a step of recovery. No matter how many times you fall, you’re still right there where you’re supposed to be, right on track.
4. Nostalgia…
That fickle, heartbreaking bitch. It makes the past seem better than it really was. You start aching for a time before you felt this pain. A time when you were whole. When you were healthy, and fresh. Not tainted by the mark of time. Don’t listen to this. No matter how good it was before, it will be even better in the future. Hold onto hope of tomorrow.
5. Pain…
Excruciating, crippling pain. Pain that will make you want to roll over and give up. It will make you question if it is worth it or not. It will make you question and doubt your strength.
Spoiler alert: you are worth it. Life IS worth it. You ARE strong enough.
6. Time…
It won’t be fixed in a day. It won’t be fixed in a week. It might take years to get better, maybe you don’t ever fully heal- the cliché but ever so relevant saying is “progress, not perfection”. Make each day better than the previous. Work to make YOURSELF better, learn to love yourself and know your worth. No one can give you a magic pill or high-tech surgery to fix you. Your healing is totally up to you. No pressure.
7. Scars…
You cant have healing without the scars. Those will never go away. Years after you’ve recovered and healed all the wounds, the scars will remain to remind you that it was real, it happened. Don’t look at them as a painful reminder of what happened to you and how low you got. Rather, look at them as a reminder of just how strong and badass you are. YOU survived that. You got stabbed in the back, shot in the heart, and you lived to tell. You are a better, stronger person for it. You’re amazing. Look how far you’ve come! Holy hell, you’re a tough cookie! What an inspiration.
Please never forget how strong you are. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise. Find people in your life who are like Band-Aids for your soul. I’m corny as hell, but that is the best advice I could ever give. Surround yourself with people who are conducive to your healing and won’t hinder your progress. Look after yourselves, be tough, be loving, be confident, be strong and badass.
TOWANDA!!!!