Now, I didn’t jump into the party scene until about a year ago (I know, for a typical college student that’s a shocker) and so, the “world” of partying with other girls was just that — a different world. A strange society of code names, dress-code violations, hook-up policies, random bathroom trips and other unfamiliar, universal rules that definitely weren’t in any Student Affairs handbook. A year later, this alien has finally learned and even absorbed some of the unspoken rules and ways of the party-girl species.
Getting Dressed
When I first started going out, my wardrobe consisted of only casual tops, skinny jeans, flats and flip flops. I can make some cute outfits with that to wear to the bars or a chill party, right? At least I thought so — others didn’t. When I went to meet up with my friends, all I saw were 4-inch heels and a strange invention known as a Body Hugger dress. Eventually, I learned the difference between a cute outfit and a down-right sexy ass, bad bitch outfit. In the end, the bad bitch apparel always wins — and gets the man.
But if you fail to learn the difference, a helpful friend will attempt to subliminally hint that you should change. “Here, why don’t you wear this? You can look in my closet and find something,” she might say. An over-the-top translation: “You’re not going out with me looking like that. Your outfit doesn’t complement everyone else’s and it’s not sexy enough. Girl, you won’t get a man looking like that!”
Just remember, don’t leave the house without receiving the nod of approval for your outfit.
The rule: Casual dress is for school. When going out, sex it up — way up, but without sacrificing too much classiness. If you can say, “I’m a bad bitch” and your friends agree, mission accomplished.
Before Leaving Out
The rule: No memorable night can begin without taking a Facebook album’s worth of pictures. Before leaving, there will be about three different cameras used to take the same pictures, but at different angles. This ensures that everyone gets a cute Facebook profile picture, while also documenting everyone’s outfits so that next you go out, you’ll have to wear a different outfit for the purpose of diversifying your Facebook photos.
The rule: During some special holidays and celebrations, girls will often discuss the “rules” for the night, which can include not bringing a guy home, no sober behavior allowed, no buying your own drinks, and so on. The rules vary quite often depending on the girls’ emotional state at the time, alcohol consumption and PMS cycles.
Arriving to the Party
Most girls don’t plan on going to a party with just one other girl. And although going with her can be fun, other times, it can also be a bit stressful. “What if I meet someone? Is she going to feel left out? I’m going to be so mad if she has to pee right now. This is my song!”
The rule: Girls must arrive together in a group of three or more (Side note: The prettier the people in the group are, the more likely your chances of getting free drinks or a dance with a cutie). And the group shouldn’t part for any reason unless otherwise specified.
Going to the Bathroom
The rule: A bathroom at a bar isn’t just that disgusting closet-sized room you frequent to take care of business, it’s a sanctuary and a confession room for girls. Yes, like that cool room they have on “The Real World.” It’s a place for girls to seek shelter from creepers, call dibs on cuties and confess that they plan on getting drunk because some girl wrote on their future boyfriend’s Facebook wall.
The Dancing
The rule: Girl dance circles are like safety nets and rebounds. They all dance with each other in the beginning until we accept a guy’s request to dance and if that dance ends, we join back with the ladies for some light, fun dancing filled with sing-alongs, finger pointing and butt bumping.
The Dudes
The rule: If a girl doesn’t want to dance with a guy anymore, for any reason, she uses the “I have to go to the bathroom” line. As soon as its said, the pack knows to head to the bathroom to seek shelter, get the scoop on what happened and sneak off to a different spot on the dance floor.
The rule: If a girl’s dancing with a guy who basically crept up on her from behind and whose face she had a slight glimpse of, she’ll try to find out if he’s cute with the help of her friend. She’ll give her friend a light, discrete tap, followed by the bulging eye and mouth, “Is he cute?” If her friend nods, she keeps dancing. If her friend widens her eyes and gives a stiff headshake, she signals for her friend to playfully grab her arm and pull her toward her to dance.
The rule: If a girl really likes a guy, she’ll get more wild with her dancing, or as pop culture says, she’ll “put it on him” and “shake it like a salt shaker” to make sure he doesn’t go anywhere. Hey, it works for Deena when she does the Jersey Turnpike.
Leaving the Party:
The rule: After leaving the party, girls will usually go back to their pre-gaming spot to laugh about and discuss (aka, analyze) everything that happened. Three hours later, every one has revealed and discovered each other’s subconscious insecurities.
Though, occasionally, I still feel like an alien to the inner-workings of female relationships, the process has taught me that even though by the end of the night my feet look swollen from suffocating in heels, my shoulder’s wet from being cried on and my body aches from pop, lock and dropping it, I’ve learned to appreciate this interesting experience and what it’s taught me about friendship. The most important rule of all: have a good time and make and share lasting memories.