As females we tend to be good caregivers. We have the natural ability to take care of people and love just about everyone but ourselves. In today’s society women are striving for perfection. We are pressured to appease the male gaze and look like the women on TV. We fail to realize the images the media puts out are extremely unrealistic that is unless, you go through hours of hair and make up after getting digitally airbrushed every day before class.
I went to buy this month’s new issue of Cosmo and looked around at all of the magazine covers for women. All the women looked the same. They all looked hungry with big fake smiles on their face. I wondered if this is how guys want us to look?
Senior sociology major Paul Moon has been in a relationship for over four years and says he likes everything about the female body. He describes a good body as “A healthy body that you can see they take care of themselves.” Moon has done a lot of traveling to places like Africa, Paraguay, Belize and Korea. He says each place has different stereotypes about the female appearance.
“In Korea it is ideal for women to be cutesy and pale, while in America they tan to get darker,” Moon said. He also noted that women in parts of Africa are on diets to get bigger. He says that in America, “Every girl tries to look like Barbie and the girls in music videos.” Moon gives advice to women saying, “Don’t compare yourself to people on TV, live your life to the fullest. If a guy only likes you for your body then that’s not the right person for you.”
Junior biochemistry major, Godly Jack is single and thinks differently about the female body. He describes the perfect body as, “Big breasts, nice big butt, skinny waist with no rolls, or love handles, and not too tall, but not too short.” Contrarily he agrees that the average woman looks nothing like that. Jack blames the media for his way of thinking.
“Right now America is like a man’s world,” Jack said. “Everything in the media is from a guy’s perspective. It’s also a financially driven industry, they put out images that will make them money.” Jack noticed that black girls often feel pressured to be curvaceous and white girls feel the need to be super skinny.
He admits that the outward appearance of women is what attracts his attention, but it’s the personality he looks for when dating. Jack said he once talked a girl out of getting butt injections because she would, “attract the wrong the wrong kind of attention.” His advice to women is to be confident and not worry about what others think.
The media may not be the only reason for women’s flawed self-image, but they definitely are not helping us. The average American woman is a size 14, while the average model is between sizes 0-2. This could be why, according to Natural Health Magazine, 44% of American women who are average or underweight believe that they are overweight. As we fight our bodies to meet these unrealistic expectations the media shows us, ten million women in the U.S. struggle with an eating disorders like anorexia and bulimia.
Junior kinesiology major, Laleh Montazer thinks celebrities Jennifer Aniston and Mila Kunis have the perfect bodies. “A lot of girls seem pretty in shape on campus,” Montazer said. “College students, especially girls, are really focused on their image.” Montazer bravely admits to struggling with weight herself saying, “I have had a negative body image and struggled with an eating disorder the majority of my life.”
Her struggles came from the need to be perfect. She said she had to realize that no one knows what perfect is or how to obtain it. “Don’t starve yourself, get a healthy balanced diet and work out,” Montazer said. “In the end, even if you’re not a size zero, you’ll be happy. It’s hard to love your body, but try to at least like it.”
It is important for women like Montazer to share their stories so other women with the same problems can realize they are not alone and that recovery is possible. If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, immediate help is available.
Low self-esteem can be cured. Now, more than ever, women are being encouraged to love themselves. The Dove Campaign for Real Beauty promotes images in the media of real, natural female bodies. Dove sponsors self-esteem workshops for young girls and uses average women instead of models in their advertisements to try and counter some of the unrealistic bodies on television.
Supermodel and media personality, Tyra Banks got so frustrated by the media talking about her weight gain that she went on national TV and told them to “kiss her fat ass”. She admitted to gaining weight after retiring as a Victoria Secret model and said she had no problem with it. Supermodels and college women alike have the same struggle but it is up to us how we want to live our lives.
Personally I have never been completely in love with my body, but I have also never actively tried to change it. I think this is because I could never successfully figure out what exactly I was supposed to look like. There were days I wanted to look athletic like Serena Williams and then the next week I would want to be the same size as Beyonce.
Buddha said, ““You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.”
I have learned that in order to properly love anyone or anything else, we have to love ourselves first. It doesn’t matter how your boyfriend or your relatives say you look, only you can change your self-image. All the dresses, heels and sparkly leggings in the world cannot make you feel beautiful on the inside. Instead of hating your body for what it isn’t praise it for it is.
For example I don’t have Angelina Jolie’s lips, but have enough lips to smile and make silly kissy faces in pictures. I don’t have a model’s flat stomach, but I have a stomach that can hold all the food I love. I don’t have JLo’s butt, but mine let’s me sit in the library for hours. I don’t have Mariah Carey’s insured legs, but I have two healthy legs that let me dance all night long.
Before trying to please others, be good enough for yourself. Like any romance, take it slow. Learn to love your body more and more everyday. Love yourself because unlike money and men, its guaranteed to love you back.