“Bentley’s Bucket.” It’s practically famous already (in College Park).
I’m sure all of you—or at least most of you—have read BroBible’s article about Bentley’s using a bucket as a toilet by now.
While I got a good laugh from the article, I was left feeling doubtful. Could Bents really substitute a toilet for a bucket? I mean yeah, okay, Bents isn’t the classiest of places but a BUCKET? REALLY?
The article was witty and entertaining, but the author left out some key details to the story.
So let me fill you in.
Bentley’s bathrooms suck. Yes, we all know that. But on one fateful day, the toilet in the middle stall of the girls’ bathroom took its last breath (aka it broke beyond repair). The toilet was then removed and a bucket was placed on top of the pipes to hide them—not to mention to prevent drunk girls from climbing on them and making a bigger mess than that bathroom could handle. According to a Bentley’s employee, there was an “OUT OF ORDER” sign on the door and duck tape to keep it closed, which means that it was very obvious guests should not to go in that stall.
Apparently REALLY desperate times call for REALLY desperate measures.
This means that a girl actually got on her hands and knees and crawled under the stall to unlock it from the inside. Okay, maybe I’ve done this before but I wouldn’t dare attempt it at Bentley’s. Just look at the floor! This is definitely the most underrated part of the story. I mean c’mon… climbing on that floor is way more repulsive than peeing in a bucket!
The girl then proceeded to use the bucket as a toilet, as fellow Bents customers followed her lead the rest of the night.
On a side note, does anyone feel bad for the poor bar back who had to clean that bucket at the end of the night?! I do. Can you even imagine picking that—actually no. Don’t imagine. That’s pretty gross.
Anyways, it is clear that this little incident hasn’t affected Bents’ popularity, as you can still find the majority of the student body partying there on any given night of the week.
So, the moral of this story is…
· YES there was a bucket in the Bents bathroom,
· NO the bucket was never intended to be used as a toilet (Bents isn’t that ratchet),
· YES Bents got some good publicity from the BroBible article, and
· NO let’s not do this again people!!!
While this may look bad to non-UMD students, us College Park veterans know the truth: Bentley’s could replace ALL the toilets with buckets and we would still dutifully stand in line to await cheap drinks and enjoy a night we won’t remember.