It used to be that girls attended college for an array of reasons, especially to snag a hubby for a perfect future – complete with a white picket fence. But recently, many female collegiettes have taken a drastic turn in the opposite direction and have begun avoiding serious relationships altogether.
“I don’t really see a point in having a boyfriend in college,” said Kelly*, a junior Communications major at the University of Maryland. “I have the rest of my life to settle down and put someone else’s wants before my own.”
In such a competitive career environment, many collegiettes feel that their time is not properly spent when dating and engaging in more serious romantic relationships. Instead, they would rather spend time focusing on extracurriculars – sororities, clubs, and internships – that may advance their eventual career goals.
“Honestly, I spend so much time with my internship, job, and sorority, that when I have some free time, I just want to go out and party… not have to make time for my boyfriend,” said Kelly.
Kelly is not the only one who feels this way.
The New York Times published an article over the summer examining the decline of more serious relationships in college and the reasons behind it. There, an UPenn student summed up the simple “cost-benefit” analysis of being in a relationship, which many collegiettes find relatable.
The article discusses the practical mindset that college students have begun adopting and changing their priorities.
“My best friends and I all joined different sororities, so between my own sorority, finding time to see them, schoolwork, and my part time job, I really don’t even know where I’d fit in time for a serious relationship,” said Amanda*, a sophomore Psychology major, who used to define herself as a “relationship kind of girl.”
Amanda has also witnessed an increase in the amount of girls who are avoiding any committed relationships, and swaying towards the more popular, convenient option – the booty call.
Yes, the booty call. While females used to condemn the male population for labeling them as such (and refusing to be exclusive with just one girl), the female population has exploded with a generation of girls who have their own little black books of boys to entertain them for the night.
Picture via guycodeblog.com (Astro Productions)
“It’s gotten to the point that if I go out and I don’t hook up with a rando at a frat party, I’m going to be the one to call one of the guys off my list to come over later. Just because I’m single, doesn’t mean I have to be lonely,” said Jessica*, also a sophomore Psychology major.
Kelly, Amanda, and Jessica each have multiple boys whom they regularly hook up with on a rotating or convenience basis.
“Some people say like ‘oh, I can’t believe you hook up with all three of them, aren’t you such a little slut’, but honestly, I’ve only slept with one of them,” said Amanda. “Sleeping with multiple guys at a time is really pushing it for me.”
Many girls who opt for the more convenient route are hesitant to have sex with multiple partners, fearing the slut shaming and notoriety. However, many also don’t find the need to sleep with many guys, as it promotes the emotional proximity that they are trying to avoid.
“Sometimes I’ll just call up one of the boys to come cuddle – I’m dead serious – if I’m feeling especially lonely,” adds Jessica. “You’d be surprised how many guys are down for that.”
Image via menshealth.com
Surprisingly, girls who do opt for this non-committal viewpoint have also found that guys are the ones more likely to want a meaningful relationship, rather than mere hook up buddies.
“There was one guy I was hooking up with for a decent amount of time, and I had to end it because he kept bringing up wanting exclusivity, or wanting to hang out more, etc.,” said Kelly. “It’s funny that now that girls don’t want relationships; guys are looking for something serious.”
Will the decrease in committed relationships continue to ensue as the search for high paying careers continues to prove increasingly difficult? Or is this single and mingling mindset merely karma in retaliation for the years that boys have played with our heartstrings?
To read the full New York Times article, visit http://www.nytimes.com/2013/07/14/fashion/sex-on-campus-she-can-play-that-game-too.html?pagewanted=1&_r=3&hp&