Sometimes I feel like one of the luckiest girls in the world. I have what most girls dream of. I’m talking about a guy whom I’m completely compatible with and we actually have a quality relationship. He makes me laugh, he gives me advice, and my friends and family love him. And to top it all off he is not my boyfriend. Yes, you read that right he is what is popularly called a “BGF”, or a best guy friend. My BGF Chris Trevino, a junior print journalism major, and I have a strictly platonic relationship and I love him the same way I do my girlfriends.
In today’s society most adults do not believe that male and female relationships can stay platonic. Linda Sapadin, a psychologist in Valley Stream, New York explained for Psychology Today that, “The belief that men and women can’t be friends comes from another era in which women were at home and men were in the workplace and the only way they could get together was for romance.” In my opinion, it’s a new day and if you do it the right way there are a lot more advantages of having a male best friend than you may think.
I met my BGF freshman year in the diner through a mutual friend. I later found out we lived in the same dorm, on the same floor, on the exact opposite ends. Trevino and I have similar interests, we share the same major and aspirations. We both want to become sports journalists. Over time, we became a lot closer.
As my BGF, he probably knows more about me than anyone solely because of the time we have spent together. We purposely take at least one class with each other every semester, see each other on a regular basis, and host a weekly sports show together on the campus radio station. I couldn’t get away from him if I tried.
Just like having girlfriends, friendships with males are not all peaches and cream. There are some things that Trevino will never understand because he is a guy and I have to accept that sometimes and seek advice elsewhere. Trevino also admits that there are times he has to watch what he says around me because I’m a girl.
At the end of the day it doesn’t matter if he’s giving me advice, arguing with me about sports, or if we’re eating chicken potpie together in the diner; he is a great friend to have. He’s seen me at my worst and at my best and still cares either way. That’s what matters to me.
I asked Trevino how he felt about our relationship so you could hear it from his point of view. He said, “The best thing about our friendship is that we complement each other so well, we have fun together and I enjoy your company.” Trevino reminisced about a time he realized our friendship was genuine. “When I was sick freshman year, you picked me up from the health center and stayed with me until you had class,” Trevino said. “I was glad to have a friend at that moment.”
Trevino and I are not a rare case. Junior mechanical engineering major Patrick Gaume values his platonic relationship with his friend freshman letter and sciences major Molly Bauman. The two have been friends since his junior year in high school when he met her in band class. Gaume speaks highly of her saying, “She’s a realist like me and she’s very honest. We don’t have any romantic interest in each other to complicate things.”
Gaume can share experiences with Bauman that he may find difficult explaining to his male friends. “It’s nice to have a girl you can talk to, they’re more compassionate and they are better listeners” Gaume said. “Guys are just more chill.”
Gaume and Bauman are a great example of how male and female friendships can last and remain platonic without crossing the line. He sees their relationship lasting a long time and if they get out of contact after he graduates, he knows that at anytime they could strike up a conversation and pick up where ever they left off.
Like Gaume and Bauman, I see my friendship with Chris lasting a long time. Him being of the opposite sex doesn’t bother me at all and it doesn’t seem to bother him either. When I asked, Trevino explained, “We’ve gotten to the point where you being a female doesn’t matter. Instead of calling you ‘my female friend, Brittany,’ you’re just ‘my good friend Brittany.’”
After three years, my friends, family, and even my ex-boyfriend still all ask how Trevino is doing. He’s a part of my life I do not know what I would do without. I think it’s important for every female to have a male in her life that she can call her friend. In order for us to be comfortable around the opposite sex we must understand them. My BGF has not only helped me see men in a whole new way, but he’s helped me improve myself as well.