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How to Initiate Sex Without Feeling Awkward AF

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Maryland chapter.

A majority of us often find ourselves in situations that we don’t quite know how to handle; take sex, for instance. Sex can be a really great thing but it takes initiative. If you want to have sex, you’re going to have to make it clear. That being said, you should always consider your emotional health, as well as that of your potential partner.

The number one rule is don’t ever assume that it’s leading to something more than just sex. If you take the initiative to try and sleep with someone, don’t jump to any conclusions. They may only be in it for one night. This is perfectly acceptable as long as you both realize this. You also need to be aware of your potential partner’s feelings. If you try to hook up with them and they say no or act like they don’t want it, stop immediately. Never try to coerce anyone into having sex with you if they don’t seem down for it from the start.

However, if you do think that this person is interested in having sex with you, but you don’t know how to initiate it, look no further for help. This article has all of the tips and intel you will need.

  1. Make eye contact Making eye contact can be a little nerve wracking at times, especially if you’re not totally sure how the other person feels about you. It can get weird if you overthink it. However, it honestly is one of the best ways to let the person you’re talking to know that you’re truly interested in what they have to say. Maintaining eye contact for a second or two after they finish speaking is also a really good way to flirt with them. By doing this, you are letting them know you’re into them.    
  2. Smile/laugh a lot 
  3. Laughter is sexy. The person you’re with is going to want to see that you’re having a good time. If you’re having fun, it’s almost guaranteed that they’ll have fun too. Don’t be too serious; joke around with them. This light and positive communication will make it easier and more comfortable when it’s time to transition into to the bedroom.    
  4. Touch them  When you speak to them, touch their arm or their knee. This will inevitably get their attention and signal that you’re into them. This is also a great way to feel out whether or not they’re sending back the vibes that you’re giving off. If they get closer to you or if they touch you back, they’re interested in you. If they start to move away, then that’s a pretty clear indicator that you should immediately stop flirting and go back to acting casual.    
  5. Go for the kiss After following the first three steps, you should have a fairly good idea of whether or not this person wants to sleep with you. If they’ve flirted back with you and given you the signs that they’re into you, then it’s time to try to kiss them. This is really very simple. Wait until there is a pause in the conversation, lock eyes with the person, smile at them in a sexy and flirtatious way, and then kiss them. If they kiss you back, you’re on your way to sex city and they’ll probably take over from there.

    If they don’t take over and you get stuck making out for a long period of time, just start taking off clothes. They could be yours or the other person’s. It doesn’t really matter as long as someone’s clothes are being removed. After you do this, your intentions will be extremely clear.

    If anything goes wrong during this process, there are a couple of ways you could handle it. First of all, you could play it off like it’s nothing. This is a pretty good option and it often works because neither one of you really wants to discuss the awkwardness. The other approach is to talk about it and to admit that you were trying to sleep with them. This is a fine option but it could make it extremely awkward for both of you. Depending on how close you are with the person, this option could work for you. It’s obviously always easier if you are fairly sure from the first few steps that this person is interested in sleeping with you.

My name is Meghan Moriarty. I am one of the editor-in-chief's of Her Campus Maryland.