Should I tell them about my sleeping naked? Or at least warn them that I will give the evil eye to anyone who dare tries to talk to me in the morning? Perhaps I should inform them of my preference to wash dishes after I eat? Would they be offended if I inscribe my initials on my food? And I can’t leave out my need to set three loud, obnoxious-sounding alarms because of my habit to punch the ‘snooze’ and ‘ignore’ button in my sleep.
These were the questions and concerns wandering in my head after I checked my on-campus housing status to discover Residence Life randomly assigned me to live with three random women. And those were my roommates–a list of names and phone numbers on a computer screen. No compatibility reports. No pictures. Nothing.
So I did what any curious, skeptical person equipped with someone’s full name would do in my situation: I satisfied my quest for more information with a dose — or more — of Facebook stalking.
I wanted to get a glimpse of these women’s personalities and the kind of lives they led. Would they be fun to invite out on a thirsty Thursday night at the bars or would they prefer to spend a relaxing and productive night at home instead? Were their favorite quotes philosophical or comical? Should I expect a fifth roommate, aka the boyfriend?
Unfortunately, Facebook isn’t programmed like Google, so I couldn’t get a search result of 32,576 random links that attempted to answer my questions. All there was left to do was to move in and get to known them the old fashioned way: in-person.
I walked into the surprisingly homey-looking Leonardtown apartment with nervous, sweaty hands and a wide, frozen smile to greet their fresh faces with.
As expected, the first few days are slightly awkward and consist of everyone tip-toeing around each other and exchanging the cordial “Hi,” “See you later,” and “How was your day?”
Eventually, a moment occurred when three of us were lounging around the living room and kitchen area. Seizing the opportunity, I asked everyone questions about their classes and other general topics. When it was my turn to share, I added more personal information about myself and mentioned my desire for us to become acquainted with each other’s likes and habits. Of course, after I shared my sleeping preference, the others felt more at ease to share some of theirs. For about half an hour, we hysterically laughed and listened to each other, realizing that we were all similar in one way or another.
It’s been a week since then and although I still don’t feel completely unguarded and vulnerable around my roomies, I am optimistic that our relationship will progressively move forward. Those who are now my best friends were at some point strangers to me.
Oh, and I can’t forget the best part. The roommate I share a room confessed that she also sleeps naked…so much for a “random” assignment, huh?
Still haven’t made that connection with your roomies yet? Here are a few tips to make the process easier and more enjoyable:
1. Food always brings friends and family closer together. Organize a weekly roomies dinner or eat in the living or dining area more often. By doing so, someone might join you.
2. When their friends are over, interact with them. Not only can you make new friends, but also next time, you won’t feel the need to retreat into your room.
3. On the weekends or during the holidays, suggest watching a movie or engage in bonding activities (for example, decorate a Christmas tree together). It will be fun for all and create those memories you’ll cherish forever.
4. Leave your door open. Someone may consider popping in to say “Hi.” Try to keep opportunities for communication available.
5. Stay engaged in small talk. This makes interactions less awkward. Hopefully, your roomies will gain your trust and feel more comfortable talking to you about in-depth topics