Do you find yourself struggling with confidence? Do you live to please other people? Do you find yourself assuming different personalities for different situations? Does it feel as though others enjoy seeing you broken? If you said yes to any of these questions, you might be a “mirrorball.”
In 2020, Taylor Swift released her eighth studio album. Fans related to its sixth track mirrorball all too well. Taylor’s newest album Midnights revisits mirrorball and flips it on its head in the album’s ninth track Bejeweled.
A mirrorball is made out of hundreds of broken pieces of glass. When they are in the spotlight, onlookers watch their shattered edges glisten. The term mirrorball is a metaphor for someone whose brokenness entertains others. They have a duplicitous personality for the sake of others. Mirrorballs often put others before themselves and are people pleasers.
Being Bejeweled is the opposite.
Someone who is Bejeweled is confident in their independence and self-worth. They have an aura of self-clarity and are ready to embrace new beginnings.
Though going from a mirrorball to being Bejeweled can seem like a tough undertaking, some self-care and reflection can take you from “shining just for you” to making “the whole place shimmer!”
Acknowledge Your Struggles
“And I miss you, but I miss sparkling”
Breaking bad habits is the first step to change. Breaking these habits means a change from what you are familiar with, and letting go of familiarity in order to grow can be challenging.
That being said, it is important to reflect deeply on why you are letting go of this person. Write down your negative feelings associated with said person in a journal or diary.
Then, when you begin to miss this person, you can remember the negativity they brought into your life and recognize that they are not worth the struggle. While you may begin to miss your old life, moving on from individuals who bring you down is what is best for your transformation from a “mirrorball” to “Bejeweled!”
Remove Toxicity From Your Relationships
“Baby boy I think I’ve been a little too kind.”
This step goes hand in hand with the previous. Toxic people are not conducive to your mental state. Removing toxicity from your life can help you focus on yourself. Think about the signs of a toxic relationship; this could look like someone disrespecting your boundaries, being needy, dismissing your importance, weaponizing their struggles and more. Recognize these signs in your own life and remove them from your circle. Don’t let these people dull your shimmer.
Reflect On Yourself
“I can still make the whole place shimmer.”
Being a part of a toxic or unfulfilling relationship can leave you feeling drained. You might feel as though you aren’t good enough for the other person or that you should be doing more to please them. Stop defining yourself by the way one person treats you and instead, reflect on your own qualities that you admire. Maybe you can solve any math problem, bake the best cookies or cheer up your friends on a bad day, discover your unique talents and value yourself for it. Recognize your self-worth. Learn how to seek out relationships that enhance your self-image rather than dragging it down. Reflecting on yourself can help achieve confidence.
Put Yourself First
“Puttin’ someone first only works when you’re in their top five.”
Whether it is romantic or platonic, in a relationship, a “mirrorball” is likely to put the other person before themselves. There is no use in shining for someone who doesn’t value your shimmer!
Quit trying everything to keep them looking at you and reclaim your confidence! Treat yourself. Add some new clothes to your wardrobe or splurge on some new skincare. Take at least 15 minutes a day to do something for yourself like reading, going for a walk, cooking, or another activity you enjoy. Assess your own needs, and do what it takes for you to succeed before helping others. Take credit for your accomplishments. Learn how to say no to other people. These tips will help you find your own confidence rather than work to constantly please other people.
Talk Yourself Up
“I polish up real nice.”
Confidence does not feel right when it’s fake. Positive affirmations can help improve your self image. Add these Taylor Swift inspired affirmations to your daily routine or dream board for a daily confidence boost –
- “Step into the daylight and let it go.” – Daylight, Lover
- “It’s okay, life is a tough crowd.” – Innocent, Speak Now
- “And if you never bleed, you’re never gonna grow and it’s alright now.” – the one, Folklore
- “Long story short, I survived.” – long story short, Evermore
- Today is never too late to be brand new.” – Innocent, Speak Now
- “I come back stronger than a 90’s trend.” – willow, Evermore
- “These things will change. I can feel it now.” – Change, Fearless (Taylor’s Version)
- “I’m doing better than I ever was.” – Call It What You Want, Reputation
- “So make the friendship bracelets, take the moment and taste it. You’ve got no reason to be afraid.” – You’re On Your Own Kid, Midnights
With these steps you can go from dependent to independent. So, go ahead and shine!