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The Do’s and Don’ts of Seeing Your Ex in Public

After recently going through a significant break up, I learned that running into my ex around campus and out at parties was a common occurrence.  Some encounters were civil and friendly, while others were sad and painful, and all of them were awkward.  In fact, some of the DON’Ts on this list on based on my own mistakes.  So, follow these tips to make seeing your old flame less awkward for both of you.

DO: Say hi and be friendly.  There is no need to be rude or cold.  At this point in your life you are a mature adult and are able to be civil if you see an ex at in public.  Make it a quick hello and then walk away, there is no need to draw it out any longer than that.

DON’T: Run away, cry, start drinking a lot, etc.  If you see your ex at a party then the outcomes can be unpredictable.  Running away and crying if you see him or her is as embarrassing as it is unnecessary.  As for drinking a lot – it may seem like the answer, but trust me it is not.  In fact, it will probably induce running away or crying.

DO: Keep your distance.  The easiest way to screw things up or say something embarrassing is to talk to your ex for longer than necessary.  Like I said before, say hello and then walk away.  It is as simple as that.

DON’T: Go home with them.  Possibly the biggest don’t of all time.  This is for the times you see them at a party.  If he or she asks to talk to you somewhere quieter or something along those lines, SAY NO.  If you two need to talk about anything then it can be done at a scheduled time when you are both sober and rational. 

DO: Say hi to his friends.  If you see your ex and/or his friends around campus or at a party, then be nice to them too.  There is nothing more awkward then ignoring his friends, and if you do it just means they will talk about you when you walk away.

DON’T: Keep trying to have the same argument over and over again.  A break up can be especially hard if it is not what you want and you did not see it coming.  Despite how hard it is, do not keep trying to hash out your feelings with your ex when you see them around.  It will only make it harder to move on.

In the end, the best thing to do when seeing your ex in public is to keep your cool.  Now, obviously, this advice is much easier said than done and I will be the first to admit that I have not always kept my cool.  However, you are stronger than you think and the best way to move on is to face your break up head on.

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