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Balancing Friends and A Relationship at College

The opinions expressed in this article are the writer’s own and do not reflect the views of Her Campus.
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Manhattan chapter.

By Emily Gianni

YEY!  You finally found a significant other who loves you so much.  They want to spend Every.  Waking.  Minute.  With.  You.  YIKES.  You need to create a balance between your new relationship and your friends.  Your friends will be annoyed with you if they are around all the time and your time with them won’t be as meaningful as it would be.  When you hang out with your friends, that should be your own time.  

Make other friendships rather than just your significant other.  This is really important because if you and your significant other ever break up, your friends will be the people that are there for you.  You shouldn’t need them when it is convenient for yourself, you should be friends with them through and through.  Although getting into a relationship is new and exciting, you are not going to want to drop everyone else you have.  You need to find the balance between your personal life and theirs.

You need to set boundaries with your significant other.  Sometimes, you need to be yourself without them.  When you hangout with your friends, you shouldn’t feel obligated to hangout with your significant other as well.  Be your own person.  Your significant other should understand the importance of having other friends and a life outside of them.  This is healthy in a relationship.  By having this conversation with your significant other, you are setting clear, healthy boundaries so you both can enjoy your own things, while coming together to support each other. 

You also shouldn’t let your friends dictate what happens in your relationship.  If they are true friends, they will let you spend time with them, as well as your significant other.  If they are telling you that you aren’t their friend anymore or that they aren’t happy for you, then they do not want to see you succeed and be as happy as you can be.  Your friends should understand if you need time to hangout with your significant other alone and they should accept this.  

Getting into a relationship is great, but you have to move past the honeymoon stage and not spend all of your time with your significant other.  Keeping your friends and making new friends should be acceptable in your relationship, and you need to have conversations with both your significant others and your friends to make sure all parties understand the way you want to live your life.

Emily Gianni

Manhattan '24

Hi I'm Emily! I am in my Senior Year at Manhattan College, graduating in Spring 2024. I am studying Childhood Special Education with an upward extension to middle school with a double major in English. My goal in life is to teach elementary school and later on, teach middle school. Although I don't have a position in my Her Campus chapter, I am still an active writer for Her Campus! I write about all different topics for Her Campus, anything that interests me or that I believe other girls will find useful and informational. I am a team captain on the Manhattan College cheerleading team, so I may write about that sometimes. I also love sorority rush season so I have written about my sorority a few times. I believe that Her Campus is an amazing source for women to put their work out there and influence other girls. I love being a part of this organization and being able to write about whatever I love. This is the best outlet for me to learn more about my writing style, experiment with different topics that I would not be allowed to write about in a class, and grow as a writer.