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7 Circles of Hell As Told By Finals Week

Circle 1: Determination.

Students beginning this journey are so hopeful for the long, treacherous journey that they are about to embark.

Catch Phrase: “I’m going to O’Malley and I’m going to be productive! No Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr, Snapchat, Yik Yak, Buzzfeed, texting, or WhatsApp!”


Circle 2: You know nothing, Jon Snow.

You have cracked open that dusty textbook and finally realized the envitable.

Catch Phrase: “We never went over these three chapters in class! Oh wait, those were on the syllabus for Friday morning…I was probably hungover.”

Circle 3: Instant Waitress

The only thing getting you through here is that hot java from Dunkin.

Catch Phrase: “Hey I’m going to Dunkin guys, anyone want anything?” (No one wants to go, but you now have $100 in your hand and 15 orders to fulfill.)

Circle 4: The Meltdown

It’s a been a few hours since you’ve had that coffee (and donut). Suddenly, your eyes don’t want to stay open and focus is a myth.

Catch Phrase: “I’m dead inside. I’m just a vessel.”

Circle 5: Delirium

If everything is hilarious and that wooden chair is suddenly comfortable, you’ve reached level five. This is where your Snapchat sources its best material from. Your Twitter suddenly becomes funnier and you’re suddenly just brave enough to like the selfie your crush put up on Insta earlier today.

Catch Phrase: “Want to see that selfie I took with Jarvis the other night?”

Circle 6: Must. Crush. This.

It’s 3:30 a.m.. You’ve been here since dinner. This is the home stretch. You can do it. Why quit now when you’ve come so far? 

Catch Phrase: “Hydrolysis of the acyl-enzyme intermediate starts when Asp-102 and His-57 again from a low barrier H-bond and His-57 removes a protom from the water molecule to provide an OH- group to attach the carbonyl group of the ester.”

Circle 7: Dawn

It’s 6:30 a.m. You’ve officially pulled an all-nighter. You, my friend, have made it through the seven circles of hell.

Catch Phrase: “J-Del? J-Del.”


So here’s to you crazy kids getting it done these next three weeks. We believe in you. Because “What? Like it’s hard?”

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