Have you ever felt like your anger was just overpowering any other emotion you could be feeling? Like your anger is so overwhelming because of what some person said, or did, or caused. I think we’ve all been there, where our anger starts to get the best of us and instead of trying to fix the problem, we keep making it worse because we’re so hurt and annoyed. It’s hard to control that feeling and those reactions. So I’m here to give you some tips on how to control it a little bit better.
Tip One: Take deep breaths.
I know it’s cliche and super annoying to hear, but the best way to calm down is to take deep breaths. Why? Because when you get angrier, your heart beats faster, which continues to feed the adrenaline in your anger. When you take these breaths, it slows your heart rate down. Try this and if it doesn’t work, move to tip two.
Tip Two: Walk away.
I know this is going to be so hard to do. You’re going to want to argue and yell back because of this feeling. But I want you to stop before you start yelling. Think about what you want to say and instead of saying it, I want you to walk away. It’s simple, just turn and walk away. This helps you just take a moment to think about what you’re trying to say and then walk away to truly think over what you’re feeling.
Tip Three: Laugh.
Okay, this may sound a little weird, but I want you to think about the funniest video or memory or whatever that you’ve ever seen or experienced. I want you to start laughing. It’s going to look weird, but you can’t stay as mad as you were if you’re laughing. Also, looking at the other person’s face when they’re looking at you all crazy always makes me laugh even harder.
Tip Four: Stop speaking at all.
Let the other person talk. Listen, but don’t listen to argue, listen to understand. Then, I want you to just say “okay.” I know you’ll be mad and frustrated and you will want to say more, but if you say “okay,” and just let it roll over your shoulders, you will let that person keep talking and saying what they need to say. It will prevent you from saying something you don’t want to say and allow you to listen to the other person dig deeper into telling you why they’re feeling some way.
Tip Five: Close your eyes.
Don’t look at the person you’re arguing with. Just close your eyes and imagine somewhere nice. Just keep imagining the best thing you can imagine until you feel yourself calm down a bit more. They may get more mad but you stay calm because you’re imagining being in a better place.
These are just some tips to help you calm yourself down in the middle of an argument. They’re a little difficult to follow, but once you get into the habit, it makes it so much harder to actually get angry to the point where you get overwhelmed by it. Also, you should not allow someone to have that much of an effect on you. Your reaction talks louder than the facts. Trust yourself to stay calm and take what other people are saying with a grain of salt. I hope these tips help you like they’ve helped me!