V Day Sucks So Here Are Some Awful Pickup Lines

Those of you out there who love Valentine’s Day clearly do not know how awful a holiday it really is. For those in relationships, it’s a disgusting display of PDA. For single people, it is a day of loneliness watching the PDA.  For those that are only “talking,” it’s a very, very awkward day.


(Photo courtesy of Flickr Images)


So to laugh at the Hallmark holiday, our writers helped me compile a list of the worst pick up lines possible. Please enjoy to forget about V Day.


“Are you a beaver? ‘Cause dam.” — Hayley Accola, third-year.


“I like your outfit but I would like it much better on my bedroom floor tomorrow morning…” — Liz Schwarting, second-year.


“Is your dad a baker? Because you’ve got a nice set of buns.” — Emily Morley, second-year.


“Blood is red, cyanosis is blue, I get tachycardia when I think of you” — Angela Martin, first-year.


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“Hey baby, are you an angel? Because I’m allergic to feathers and you make me feel weak.” — Zach Tobin, second-year.


“Are you a parking ticket? ‘Cause you’ve got fine written all over you.” — Madison Freeman, third-year.


“Do you like whale watching? Cause we can go humpback at my place.” — Once again, Emily Morley.


“Is there a mirror in your pants? Because I can see myself in them.” — Annie Raglow, second-year (yes, I put myself in here because why not).


“My favorite one a guy can use is "I'm going to treat you like a snowstorm, give you 7-8 inches and make it hard for you to walk tomorrow.” — Once again, Liz Schwarting ladies and gentlemen.


“Is there a cellphone in your back pocket? Cause that booty is calling me!” — Our very own Madison Freeman strikes again.


(Photo courtesy of Flickr Images)


HAPPY V DAY EVERYONE! We hope this article makes the day a little less painful.


*Thumbnail photo courtesy of Kevin Rheese via Flickr Images.