Listen, we all do stupid things sometimes. You accidentally put orange juice in your cereal. You say something to someone that you only know because you totally stalk their profile when you’re bored. Or if you’re like me, you decide to start dating a guy who is a year younger than you only one month before you leave for college. Like I said, we all do stupid things sometimes.
But, stupid things can turn out well. Long distance relationships (LDRs) are hard, but they can work. The following is the product of numerous, idiotic google searches, trial and error, and a heck of a lot of ‘winging it’.
Know yourself.
Be frank. Are you the type of person who can handle a LDR? Do you need frequent physical contact with a romantic partner in order to be happy? I’m talking hand holding, getting a hug when you’re sad– things like that. Or can you still be fulfilled in a relationship without that? Is there a chance that you would be unfaithful because you are lonely? These are all important questions to consider. LDR is not the way Sleepless in Seattle makes it look. Plus, I hope no college girl has a little boy to help with finding her a man yet. Just sayin’.
Get the logistics.
My boyfriend and I were lucky. Public transportation was an option, making us just two hours apart for the low cost of $7.75, one way. However, there are plenty of people who don’t have public transportation options and/or the time separation is more like six hours. Consider just how often you will get to see each other. Be realistic and know what you’re getting into. That way, difficulties like this don’t come as so much of a surprise.
Get over your hipster distaste of technology.
Imagine every date having a third wheel: its name is technology. It will be your lifeline. Good news is that present day LDRs are way easier thanks to all the modes of communication available. Always send a good morning and goodnight text. Technology will keep you in each others’ everyday lives between visits.
Skype, Skype, Skype.
Did I mention that you should Skype? If LDR communication was ice cream, Skype would be a fresh pint of Ben and Jerry’s where the ice cream is just slightly melty and soft. Yes, I do mean every word of that delicious comparison. If you don’t have an account or webcam, get one.
Still do special things.
Send your ‘other’ a care package filled with their favorite junk food and a can of Monster during finals week. Or how about a letter? Do those things still even exist? Call up a local joint and order them a pizza– pay for it over the phone. Live text whatever you both watch on TV together. The corny, sweet, thoughtful things will both get you through the in-between days.
Bask in the lovely bits of being LDR.
Wait, what? There are good things about this? That answer is an overwhelming yes. These are the things that, strangely enough, people forget about when talking about LDR. Yes, it’s important to recognize the difficulties, but it’s more important to focus on why you’re doing it and why it’s good. For example, you each get independence and your own separate lives outside of each other. Both of you will also learn to truly appreciate your time together and the place you take in each others’ lives, making those visiting days oh-so wonderful and special.
I’m not going to tell you it’s easy. But, don’t believe everything you hear. Sometimes it does work. Sometimes those stupid decisions turn out wonderfully in the end.