“Place your hand over your heart, can you feel it? That is called purpose. You’re alive for a reason so don’t ever give up.” -Joyce Meyer
Suicide. It is a word that we all know, but may be somewhat unfamiliar with. What causes it? Why do people go through with it? How do they get there?
The feelings that cause suicide might be closer than you think. Look around you. How many people in the room do you think have ever had suicidal thoughts? One, three? According to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, 121 people in the U.S. die from suicide each day. With 44,165 people dying from suicide each year, why is there still such a stigma around mental health?
The simple reason is no one wants to talk about someone ending their life. It also may be because we grew up in a generation where our parents told us to mind our own business. Or maybe some people are scared of what they do not understand.
Suicide is not a journey, it’s an ending. It occurs when someone feels alone. It occurs when someone has made a mistake. It occurs when someone is in pain. Suicide occurs when mental health issues are not taken care of.
So, why am I writing this article? Why would a girl who has been described as sweet, bubbly, and fun, be writing an article about suicide?
Because, things are not always as they seem. I, like many other people across the world, suffer from mental health issues. I have contemplated suicide. Nearly three years ago I was diagnosed with severe anxiety and depression. It is something I struggle with every single day. Feeling anxious to go to class, being so depressed I do not want to leave my bed, not being able to concentrate on my school work, and losing joy in nearly everything I once cared about are all things I have had to deal with.
I have been on my bathroom floor crying out for help, bleeding out of my arm, and wanting the world to go quiet. I have screamed at the top of my lungs to make the thoughts I had leave my head. I have cried myself to sleep. I have had my breath taken away from me, and felt like I was suffocating as my heart raced a million miles a minute.
But, I am still here. I am alive.
Before this article I have been absolutely terrified to talk about my mental health. I have been scared that people will feel sorry for me. I have been scared that people will look at me differently. I have been worried that people would think I am a freak. I have been absolutely petrified at the thought of people leaving my life because they thought I was “too much drama” or that I was “just looking for attention.”
What I say today, is screw my thoughts. Let’s TALK ABOUT IT! Let’s talk about the fact that according to the World Health Organization, “One in four people in the world will be affected by mental or neurological disorders at some point in their lives.” ONE IN FOUR PEOPLE! The best way to help people suffering from mental health issues is to talk to them. Isolation hurts; it kills.
Reach out to a friend who you think might be going through something. If someone continues to isolate themselves, continues to cancel their plans with you, or ignores your texts or calls, reach out anyway. According to the World Health Organization, “nearly two-thirds of people with a known mental disorder never seek help from a health professional.” Some people are scared to get help, some people do not know where to start. Be a friend.
I am not fully out of the dark place that I was in. Everyday is still a struggle for me. I have trouble getting out of bed and going to my classes some days. I isolate myself. I cancel plans and do not go out with my friends because I want to stay curled up in my bed and go to sleep. With that being said, I am doing everything in my power to not allow this dark place to become me. I have people around me that pull me out of my darkness. I listen to music. I do yoga. I meditate. I still go to work, and to class. I normalize my life as much as possible, so this illness does not control me. John Mayer says it best in his song In Repair, “I’m not together, but I’m getting there. I’m in repair.”
If you or anyone you know needs someone to talk to or is experiencing suicidal thoughts call 1-800-273-8255. You are NOT alone.
“No, you aren’t alone. Yes, we all feel this way sometimes. No, you won’t always feel like this. Yes, the world is a better place with you in it.” -Thomas S Monson