“Keep it together”. Have you ever had to tell yourself that multiple times just to feel like everything is okay? Growing up, I was never one to easily open up to people, including my family. If something happened, or something was wrong, it always felt easier to push the feelings I had aside and move on with my day, or at least try to. Whenever someone would ask if something was wrong, I would say, “No, I’m fine”. I can’t remember how many times I’ve said that to someone. That just made my life feel easy, or normal. It felt weird for me to express any negative emotions around a person because I never felt close enough to someone to do that. I was always afraid of being judged or not truly being heard. I know we’ve all heard that bottling up your feelings isn’t healthy, but sometimes that just seems like the easiest thing to do. Am I right?
When I started college, I never expected my life to change so much. I met people I consider to be my family now, people who I’ve grown so close to that they know me more than I know myself at times. It’s kind of scary when your friend can tell you’re in a bad mood or upset about something even when you don’t feel like you are. Before meeting them, bottling up my emotions was always what I resorted to. Suppressing your emotions is never good for you. I had to learn the hard way. When you bottle up your emotions, you tend to isolate yourself. This is one of the leading causes of depression.
In college, bottling up your emotions may seem like your best friend. When you’re stressing out about exams, dealing with family issues, having problems with friendships, or just having the worst day of your life, it could seem like it’s easier to just suppress those feelings and put on a smile and say, “I’m okay”. Doing that will only eat you up inside and could make it harder for you to try to open up to someone when you finally want to. If you have problems with opening up to people, don’t let that be a reason why you continue to bottle up your feelings. Here are a few tips on how to open up to people:
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Find people that you naturally connect with There are some people that you will connect with better than others. These people will be easier to talk with. There are some people that will just be hard to talk to no matter how hard you try, but that’s okay. Finding people you connect with will make it easier for you to open up.
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Don’t be afraid to be yourself Although it’s tempting to try and put on a front and act in a way that you think people will connect with better when you meet someone new, but you shouldn’t do that. Do your best to be your authentic self. Finding people who share similar interests as you will come around.
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Talk to a counselor If you find yourself to be too afraid to open up to people, try talking to a counselor. They can help you with any problem you may have, as well as help you open up to people.
It’s okay to not be okay and it’s okay to tell someone about why you’re not. Becoming more open about your feelings rather than bottling them up is going to truly help you out in the long run.