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Worrying About Your Relationship’s Future

If you are like me, you are always thinking about the future. I love imagining what my life will be like in a few years and where I will be. Sometimes this is a problem, as I get so caught up with the future that I forget to appreciate the present.

I feel that this applies to romantic relationships in college because we are all in a weird stage of trying to figure our lives out. Many of my college friends either want to marry the next person they date, or want to avoid relationships altogether due to the unpredictability of life after college.  I completely understand both sides because I know how weird it is to be in a serious relationship at this age. Everyone is either asking if you will get married to the person you’re with, or whether you’re breaking up before or after graduation. Then there is the conflict of being in two different grades with one person graduating and the other not. Many relationships last after graduation, but many can be completely destroyed through the transition of “college life” to “real life”.

Thinking and talking about the future of your relationship can cause stress and fights because it is so scary. You care about someone so much, and do not want to imagine anything bad happening in the near future due to life just getting in the way. It is crucial to think and live in the present moment, especially in relationships. Things are always changing, and that is just life. We can never predict what will happen to relationships in the future, but we can focus on our present happiness and just hope for the best. Decisions can be made on a day-to-day basis. Whether you are together or not does not have to be decided months before a predicted conflict. We should not stress about things we may have no control over.

We are young and have so much ahead of us. A relationship we are in now may not be the relationship we are in many years from now, and that is fine. We do not need to be worrying about marriage, moving in together, or anything else related to the future yet. If you are happy now, then do not worry about what will happen in a few months or years. You are living your life. News flash – it has started, and we are constantly adding new pages to the story. You can’t predict a conflict and then fill in the pages in between.

I know this for sure: if you are already predicting any type of relationship will not work out, then it won’t. You have to focus on the positives and be optimistic about being with the person you are with. We create our own stories. If we are already saying to ourselves that something will not work, then we are going to plan for it to not work.

Live your life, be happy, and surround yourself with people that are positive influences. If someone stops making your life better, then get him or her out of your story. Focus on your present emotions and simply worry about relationship issues as they happen. We are too young to plan out the next 80 or however many years of our lives. Worry about what you are going to get for dinner, or what color you want your nails to be painted. Keep reminding yourself to take life day by day, and trust that everything will work out.

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