This time last year, I had just dropped out of recruitment after going through it for the second time. I obviously hoped it would turn out differently than it did, and I felt pretty defeated. Looking back now a year later, I was probably a bit dramatic but it as someone who is normally pretty shy it was hard for me to put myself out there a second time only to face rejection again. I am not anti-sorority at all, most of my friends are in them and I have seen all of the amazing opportunities and friendships that have come from it. But I also know that not being accepted into a place where you felt most comfortable is a hard pill to swallow. So, I wanted to write this in case anyone is feeling the same way I did last year.
1. Keep your head up.
It’s hard not to take this kind of rejection personally because they chose someone else over you, but it is a waste of time second guessing everything you talked about in the countless three minute conversations you had. At that point there is nothing you can do to change the outcome except be someone that they wish they had made a spot for.
2. Call your mom.
There is nothing a good call with your mom can’t fix right? I mean my mom had no idea about sororities or what the recruitment process was like and she still managed to make me feel better.
3. Don’t worry your friends who joined sororities will still be your friends.
This one sounds stupid but I remember being worried that my friends who rushed would be so busy with their new sisters and activities that I would fall out of the loop. They always need dates to go to their events and I am happy to tag along.
4. Dropping out because you didn’t get what you wanted doesn’t make you a brat.
I remember feeling really selfish when I was unhappy with the bid I got. I knew girls who hadn’t received anything, so I should be grateful that I got something right? If you know something is not the right fit for you, don’t put yourself in a situation where you know you won’t be happy. That doesn’t mean you’re a brat because you didn’t get what you wanted, it means you don’t settle.
5. Don’t overanalyze the girls who got what you wanted.
Being jealous in this situation is almost inevitable. You are seeing girls get chosen over you for reasons you will never know, and the decision is mostly out of your control. Don’t waste your time comparing yourself to girls who got in because there is no good that will come from that, you will either be putting others down or putting yourself down and neither of those will get you a bid.
6. Give it another shot.
If recruitment rolls around next year and you feel like you are ready to try again, I say go for it. Odds are you know more girls in each sorority and have a better feel for what each one is about. You really have nothing to lose.
7. Get involved in other ways.
This one is kind of hard because after being rejected from something like recruitment, it is difficult to go and try for something else. Greek Life is an amazing way to become a greater part of the community, but its not the only option.