Cuffing season, according to Urban Dictionary, is the time when, “people who would normally rather be single or promiscuous find themselves, along with the rest of the world, desiring to be tied down by a serious relationship.”
Boy, I do not even know where to start – the amount of times I have regarded cuffing season as the bane of my existence. Yes, I get it- you are not alone this holiday season and I honestly don’t have a problem with that. I am perfectly happy being independent
But let me just discuss my qualms about this particular season of love. Isn’t the whole point of this feminist age of the 21st century to live your life confidently as an independent woman without society pressuring you into feeling incomplete without an S.O.?
So how is it that “Cuffing Season” has seemed to prevail in exerting its power over us mere mortals?
1. First of all, it preys on the desperate- the thirsty. The one’s who are still walking in the desert even though winter is already fast approaching. Because all be damned if we women endure the festivities of the holidays without someone to introduce to the family.
2. The playing field seems to narrow and not because all the soulmates are getting swiped by other people, but as we get deeper into the season, our ideal of the perfect lover seems to skyrocket above the competition so that no one compares (So yes- during a time when there should be more for the picking, chances of being cuffed just seem to be slimmer)
3. The whole premise of cuffing season is letting go of your inhibitions and learning to give and receive as human beings were created. But, excuse me, I choose to be single not only for my individualism but because I’m selfish and I want all the apple cider to myself. Yes, I want all the pie. Yes, I want all the steak with extra gravy and mashed potatoes. And yes, I want that last crumb of macarones. Don’t mind me while I take my cake and eat it too.
4. It really takes the fun out of things but I guess this is the make or break moment where you determine if you or your SO is relationship material because what happens after cuffing season. Well either one of two things because there’s nothing in the middle 1) You end up conceiving your future child on Valentines Day or 2) The holiday spirit has disappeared and the relationship is welcomed into reality where it’s really tested.
5. It takes away our ability to choose because everyone is surrounded by lovey dovey conversation, gooey eyes and cuddling 24/7, so it’s inevitable to want to have that during a time when the weather is supposedly frigid and especially now when the whole world has been shook by the election. It doesn’t hurt to want to have someone on hand to comfort you during this difficult time, but it shouldn’t be a reason to hop into bed with the next semi-viable candidate just so you’re not alone. Whatever happened to waiting for “the one”?! Cuffing season basically takes that away from you since your romantic notions have been further imposed and your hormones are on overdrive.
So to those of you in the pit right now, I wish you good luck and I bid you adieu. As for me, I’ll continue to search while not searching, humph in annoyance at seeing happy couples in passing while secretly wishing I could be them and patiently await my happily ever after.
Love forever and always,
Your hopeless romantic