The loss of any life is a tragic experience, and losing someone you feel so close to makes it that much worse. When a talented and well-known musician dies, sometimes it feels as though you do face the experience. When Mac Miller died on September 7th, I could say that I was heartbroken. I have loved his music, and I feel as though I grew up with him, as his songs and raps echoed my own feelings. I wasn’t the only one who felt this way.
Learning how to mourn Mac Miller was a harder lesson than I was expecting. Songs are a personal thing, so I felt a connection to the man in the booth making what I listened to in the mornings before school. I could go off on how well I related to him or his songs, but the truth of the matter is that I didn’t know him, and it would be selfish saying that my sadness is anything compared to those in his inner circle. Right now, those who personally knew him are feeling a different kind of pain than I could describe. And right now, I want to send condolences to Ariana Grande for her loss: of both him and her safety.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ndf-eMyEVG8
Not long after Mac Miller and Ariana Grande broke up, Ariana Grande found herself in a relationship, and then an engagement. Four months later, Mac Miller passed. Since his death, many fans have posted threats and comments blaming Grande for Miller’s death, alluding that it was her fault since she got into a relationship so quickly after the ending of their nearly two year relationship.
This opens up a large discussion on the pressure placed on women to save men from their addictions. Furthermore, it holds women accountable for men’s actions after the relationship is over – and in this case, after the toxic relationship is over.
This story then becomes two fold, as it becomes evident that it was never about caring for addicts or the well-being of one Mac Miller. Situations such as these show that it is only a way to blame women for things inside their and other’s lives, that are largely out of their control. This is a dangerous accusation to create because it paints women as the cause of destruction in lives, with no accountability towards men. This is especially true in toxic relationships, as Grande had already repeatedly stated that her relationship with Miller was. Forcing women to stay in toxic relationships in order to “fix” the other person is not only dangerous for said woman but incredibly one-sided, as it values the toxic person’s life over the woman’s happiness.
The second fold of that comes out when we address Demi Lovato’s overdose a month prior. In this scene, we see the internet with little sympathy for the hospitalized woman, and many were blaming her because she was an addict and she “knew what she was getting herself into.” Yet Miller was swaddled because the mean lady Ariana Grande broke his heart when it was her job to fix him.
But it’s not. It’s not her job to fix him, and putting that pressure on her is cruel and unreasonable. Mac Miller was an addict (and I say that in no way blaming him), and that is something terrible to go through, whether it is yourself or a loved one. Ariana Grande was there for him for years and attempted to help him through it. About a week after his death, she stated in a memorial instagram post of him: “i’m so sorry i couldn’t fix or take your pain away. i really wanted to. the kindest, sweetest soul with demons he never deserved.”
Now, here we stand just about two weeks after his death with disabled comments of Ariana’s instagram from all the hate and heavy heart for both Miller and Grande, because I know she’s hurting for him.
So Mac Miller, I hope you rest in peace, and Ariana Grande, I hope you live in peace.
https://www.instagram.com/p/Bnt_GTOF9kb/?hl=en&taken-by=arianagrande