December is one crazy month. It’s almost as if we decide to suspend living to prepare for the final week. We invest the majority of the year into a Christmas/New Year of festivity, and although I love the bones of it, there’s always a slight echo of disappointment. I was jamming to my favourite Christmas tunes and realised how sad they actually are. We think we can forget our troubles and expect nothing but joy during the most wonderful time of the year, but we’ve got George Michael feeling a bit peeved because his heart became a second-hand present and John Lennon reminding us that war ain’t over. Cramming happiness, hope and your alcohol-damaged health into such a small amount of time disregards the life you’ve got to lead for the other 11 months of the year, and puts a lot of pressure on you to have the best time ever with no mishaps or obstacles just because Jesus got a year older. Have we not learned anything from George Bailey? Why pin your hopes on a sprig of mistletoe and a misguided wish on a firework rocketing into January? This question untidily joins my problem with December into my solution (or should that be resolution?).
New Year’s resolutions are ridiculous. Wanting to change for the better is endearing, but change doesn’t have fixity. Changes to your life normally happen without you ever planning them in the first place or in reaction to a big event that was out of your hands. Basically, you don’t decide. Yet, year after year, we think we can allot a time period for change on January the 1st only to let the ambitions or desires slip away over the first month. Every year, I am reminded of how I’m still over 10 stone, still single, and still not making my first step on a career path. This year, I’ve decided this is okay. I’m okay with teetering on the borderline of normal and overweight on the BMI scale (I like to live dangerously). I’m okay with having a long-term relationship with Ribena. I’m okay with being rejected by a hot-dog stand, let alone IPC Media. I’m just happy to be in university, living with some of my best friends and anticipating my reunion with my loving family. I’ve got it good. I’ve realised this is how it’s meant to be until fate takes a turn. I can’t choose what to do with my life in a day, because many things will inevitably not happen the way I plan them to. For example, why force myself to consider finding a boyfriend when I’ve simply not clicked with anyone? I’m not saying that we shouldn’t try to improve our lives. I’m definitely not saying that we should ignore the harsh reality of adult life, where waiting for changes to happen is about as good an idea as the video for Bound 2. What I am saying is the light bulb moments, the eurekas, the apples falling from the tree are things that will happen when you least expect them to. The world moves in mysterious ways.
So, I propose one resolution: live for now. You will most likely not use the gym membership you haphazardly purchase when blinded by your desperation to make 2014 the year when the stars align. However, you might be in a changing room on an ordinary July day and suddenly spring to action when you can’t fit into size 12 jeans any more. Maybe you won’t lose the 2 stone you wanted to by December, but 13 pounds was enough to get back to your regular size. Cater for the life you have instead of endlessly dreaming about the idealistic life you probably can’t realistically achieve. The pressure of New Year’s resolutions normally leaves you with regrets and aspirations more bloated than my belly after a damn good yule log. When you let yourself experience the ups and downs of life, you realise that wanting everything to be perfect and aiming for desirable but vague betterment is a waste of time. In the great words of F. Scott Fitzgerald, “we beat on, boats against the current”. I’m thinking more and more that I need to accept and appreciate my drift into my twenties and not get too concerned by my distance from the green light like Gatsby did, ignoring his greatness that got him so close to reaching it. Revel in what you are. Have a wonderful New Year without fear of the future.
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Molly Forsyth