We’ve all be there, the inevitable spiral inwards as you question everything you do and everything you are. Who are you really? Sometimes it can feel overwhelming with the many personalities categories you find yourself in – firstly there is you when you’re alone in your room (belting every single lyric to Disney’s Moana), or there is the you that is so scared and afraid to talk to someone new, and then the you with your friends who know you’re crazy but just not how crazy. Yet we seemingly feel the need to have a single identity which is our own and embrace it in all aspects of our life.
We see it in movies, TV and o-so-much on the internet, and you’re in awe – they know exactly what they are doing with their life and suddenly you can feel very small. But, no one fits into one category of personality because we are constantly responding to new life experiences that change our perspectives.
Sometimes reflection and solitude can do us good. Being alone gives us the space to truly realise what we want from this life and we can set out our path to attain this. It can be rejuvenating, regardless of whether you consider yourself an introvert, extrovert, or something in the middle. If not for this ‘loneliness’ or complete peacefulness it can be hard to separate out your own thoughts and that of societal pressures and the voices of both peers and parents. As such this time for self-contemplation can be liberating as you delve into what you want.
But despite having who you are settled in your head, there is still the matter of the fluctuating personas. But in my 18 years of wisdom (and many Google searches along the lines of ‘how to be the real you’) I’ve come to the conclusion that to be truly happy, you have to accept the fact that you can’t please everyone. You have to begin the process of letting go of the idea of pleasing everybody so that you can finally be your unashamed self.
Overall, our personalities will change, and will continue to grow so long as we live our lives. My friend explains it so: consider your personality as clothes – as you’d wear different outfits in different situations, you ‘wear’ different personalities. Who you are with your brother, sister, friend or acquaintance are all the same person, dressed and presented in different lights. You put out your personality which best reflects you in the situation you are in. The idea of having a single personality is hard to reach. But you, being you, as you would do best, putting your best foot forward, is incredibly bold. So long as you keep doing you, I’m incredibly proud.